The Interestment 2016 End of Year Barometer – What’s HOT and what’s NOT?
Including THESE CHICKS
As we all know, it’s massively important each year to trivialise the intricacies of human existence by breaking it down into a list of things you like and things you don’t. So without any further ado, here’s what Interestment made of it all…
Hot
Pork pies with Branston pickle – meat, pastry, vinegariness, explosions, nice, me likey
Prescription sunglasses
Funny conversational podcasts – like the ones by Adam Buxton and Richard Herring, and the porno one. They’re the chat shows of the future, with the future being now, so they’re the chat shows of now, but what will the future hold? This paragraph got confusing
Five Guys Cheeseburgers and Chips and Peanut Butter Milkshakes
Fleabag
Jumbo Cords
Cashmere anything
Jack Handey books – possibly the funniest human being alive, or dead, or both
Loungewear at every possible opportunity – tracksuit bots, cardie, slippers
Nike Air Force Ones that go up to the ankle. Aka, sturdy winter trainers
The Jazz Funk of Donald Byrd (RIP) and Roy Ayers (still going strong). Or if you’re really drunk and looking to take it up a notch, 1970s Miles Davis
Netflix – Stranger Things, The Crown, Last Chance U, Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom. In that order
Chips with gravy, but not chip shop chips, crispy French fries, and gravy made with wine in it – basically the middle class REMAIN version
Donald Glover, James Franco, and other renaissance men I can’t think of who prod at the boundaries but don’t take themselves too seriously
Broad City, Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, and lots of other funny American gals who are being consistently LOLZY
Decaff Diet Coke – for pricks like me who don’t drink caffeine
Craig David for getting another go at being a pop star – the cockle warming story of the year
Goat Butter. GOAT BUTTER – who saw that one coming? The stuff is amazing
Records. We all love records now, partly for hipster reasons about authenticity or some bullshit
Biting into a Terry’s Chocolate Orange like it’s an apple
Not
Donald Trumpington Trumpowitz
Excessive shows of grief on social media – fine occasionally, but if every celebrity death is tearing you apart inside, you might want to speak to someone
Polyester lining
Calling jogging “training”
“Small plates”
The constant reactionary outrage that is defining a generation – it’s making us lipstick lefties look too brittle and unappealing as a club
Sweet potatoes. So sickly, why do people pretend to enjoy these?
Not smiling in photos
Repeatedly losing The National Lottery
Neck tattoos. The thumb ring for the current millennium
The protest vote – especially in a two-horse race, way uncool
Exploiting your staff with your tight-fistedness then being all like “oh wha?? Man, so sorry, I didn’t realise, what the? I mean, GOD, wow, I’m SO SORRY!” with your fingers crossed behind your back
Looking at your phone and ignoring the world
Being sneery online, and in real life, and just to yourself in your own brain
The Premier League
The ongoing business of humblebragging. We can’t believe you were nominated for an award either
Hamstrung writing because the advertisers are winning
The ongoing genocide of magazines and newspapers (which may have something to do with the above point that I just mentioned)
Mushrooms
Craft beer – too strong, tastes like washing up liquid, what’s wrong with a pint of Amstel?