A few nuggets of inspiration

Photo by Avi Werde on Unsplash

What’s cooler than leaning against a wall drinking a milkshake? That’s right, lighting a match on your face.

New York’s incredible… but have you been to… OLD YORK? * karate kick *

Breathe in that morning air. Now cough it out. That’s it, keep coughing.

Remember, your only weakness is you have no idea how scanners work.

Don’t, under any circumstances, ever, and I mean ever, barbecue your face.

Why take four trips when you can take one really clumsy one?

Don’t seize the day, woo it a little, show it a good time. Send it a picture of your genitals.

Make your reflection paranoid by shouting “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME??” every time you see it.

Always walk into a meeting playing a saxophone.

Stand in front of a wind machine. God you’re beautiful.

Little tip: always come out of the toilet wearing shades.

The early bird catches the worm. Which is an unbelievably disgusting thing to do.

Follow your dreams. See what they get up to when you’re not around.