Tag Archive: transfer news

  • Football Drama: Deadline Day, and bottle assault!

    Stand back everyone, maniac coming through

    Wenger

    It’s never anything less than a total joy to hear from an important member of the Interestment family, and today it’s the turn of Steve – a man with an arched eyebrow aimed on football. He had this to say about all things recent and footballish.

    Comedy scenes at Old Trafford on the weekend as Arsenal lose to Manchester United and have their manager sent off for diving. OK, it wasn’t really for diving, he was sent off for kicking. No, not kicking the ref, or Alex Ferguson, or even Emmanuel Eboue (come on, you’d love to wouldn’t you?)… no, instead he toe punted a stationary water bottle. The man’s mental.

    “I didn’t know we were not allowed to do that,” pleaded the Arsenal boss, Arsene Wenger, in a very obviously pretend French accent. A likely story. Rumours of a post-match dust up where he was spotted landing a few very over-the-top rabbit punches on an empty can of Lilt have yet to be confirmed.

    Yesterday was Transfer Deadline Day, a truly great day of pant wetting excitement only comparable in real terms to the joy that is Pancake Tuesday. Luis Figo to Notts County! Ribery to Man United! David James to Spurs!

    Well they were the rumours, instead the highlights were David Nugent joining champions-in-waiting Burnley, David Bentley getting up really early and going all the way to Manchester to not join Man City, and a rather miffed looking journalist spending an entire day outside Fratton Park to watch David James err, train. It was the stuff of dreams, watching the demoralised broadcaster screaming at the back of James’ moving car, begging him to shed some light on what might be going on. Please, David. Please. Pleeeaaaaase.

    And finally, Roy Hodgson has hinted at an unlikely playboy past by saying this:

    “It was a ludicrous succession of affairs”.

    Like finding out that you were conceived after a drunken game of spin the bottle got ridiculous, there are some things that you just don’t ever need to know.

  • Football Window Watch: Wolves

    No, stupid, not that kind of window etc…

    wolves

    As ever, we welcome Eliot into the Interestment fold with big hugs and high fives. Today, he wraps up his brilliant Transfer Window series with talk of Wolves…

    What they need

    ebanks-blake

    Whilst Wolves ultimately ran away with the Championship, their goals conceded record was less sparkling, averaging over a goal a game shipped. Reading, Preston and Swansea each put three past them, whilst Norwich whacked eight in across two matches. Ebanks-Blake (pictured) and Doyle should sparkle upfront but across the midfield, some help for Keogh, Kightly, and the excellent David Jones wouldn’t go amiss either.

    Who they don’t need

    Chris Iwelumo won’t be missed were he to exit. Certainly not by as much as he missed that anyway.

    Don’t mention

    Sunderland. And Mick McCarthy’s sensational last effort at Premier League survival with a team from the top of the Championship. The season did however end in triumph, as the Black Cats just managed to secure enough points to stop them from driving.

    Inevitably linked with

    bull

    Ageing Brits. Irishmen. The new Stevie Bull.

    Any other business

    The last time Wolves came up to the top flight, their summer spending list included Oleg Luzhny, Silas (who was indeed golden for a brief spell at Molineux,) and Steffen Iversen. McCarthy’s business in July must be better than that, although arguably, its tough to imagine anybody drawing up a worse wishlist.

  • Football Window Watch: Portsmouth

    Not that kind of window, pillock, the Transfer Window!

    pompey

    As always, we welcome Eliot – a fantastic football writer – with a sharp glass of lemonade and a gentleman’s kiss, like mobsters do. You know – mobsters. Tough guys. Goodfellas. The kind of men who can kiss without you giggling. Them. Continuing his Transfer Window series, he had this to say about Portsmouth…

    What they need

    Britain Soccer FA Cup Final

    With Glen Johnson already on his way, the imminent departures of Sol Campbell and Sylvain Distin mean Pompey will effectively require a brand new back line next season. Or they could hand the baton over to Younes Kaboul. And get relegated.

    Who they don’t need

    Pompey are still paying the price for (and the wages for) the fondness of a certain Mr H. Redknapp esq to do a deal. Players like Glen Little and Papa Bouba Diop are gathering cobwebs, and whoever manages Portsmouth next season, they will certainly need to clear out the deadwood.

    Don’t mention

    tony-adams

    Tony Adams. An extraordinary January window saw Basinas, Gekas and even Pele (no, not that one) arrive at Pompey. Lets hope Peter Storrie left the meter running.

    Inevitably linked with

    Spurs rejects. Dodgy takeovers. Sven.

    Any other business

    Quite a lot actually. With a takeover looming from Dr Sulaiman al-Fahim (the most illegitamate use of the prefix since the days of good old Dr Fox), and all manner of shady characters claiming/denying involvement, the club urgently need this to be resolved so players can enter as well as exit Fratton this summer.

  • Football Window Watch: Bolton Wanderers

    No, idiot, not that kind of window – the Transfer Window!

    anotherlovely-window

    As always, it’s with a tea, biscuit, and enormous man hug that we welcome Eliot into today’s proceedings. He’s got an eye for sport, and here he’s turning that very eye in the direction of Bolton…

    What they need

    A bigger squad is a must – Bolton have the smallest in the Premier League. Fortunately for them, they apear to have cup strolls rather than cup runs, which has always allowed first Sam Allardyce, and now Gary Megson to get away with it. A young centre back partner for the immaculate Gary Cahill would be useful whilst if Mark Davies builds on his impressive start last season, the replacement for relegated (but wealthier) Kevin Nolan shouldn’t be necessary.

    Who they don’t need

    muamba

    If wafer-thin wasn’t such a puzzling metaphor, it would be one we at Interestment would happily use to describe the Bolton squad. Consequently, Megson would be wise not to ship anyone out this summer, although if any club chairman is foolish enough to reimburse Bolton for Fabrice Muamba (pictured, £5m) or Johan Elmander (£10m,) Wanderers fans wouldn’t be too disappointed.

    Don’t mention

    Summer 08. After an excellent January window which saw the arrival of Gretar Steinsson, Gary Cahill and Matty Taylor, the plot was temporarily misplaced last summer by Gary Megson, and the aforementioned Muamba and Elmander were the result.

    Inevitably linked with

    Lumpy old-fasioned centre backs. Obscure Scandinavians. Lumpy old-fasioned midfielders.

    Any other business

    allardyce

    Since the Allardyce reign came to a halt, no Premier League team gets ignored by the national media to the extent Bolton do. They are no longer plucky underdogs, their brand of football barely has tv executives rushing to the Reebok with their matches tending to contain few goals. The Wanderers support may moan at this neglection, but it does have a huge upside for the club, which finds it easier to hold onto its secret jewels (Cahill, Davies, Jaaskeleinen) than higher-profile mid-table sides such as Tottenham, Fulham etc.

  • Football Window Watch: Birmingham City

    No, not this window, the Transfer Window

    a-window

    It’s with the usual open arms, and massive over-the-top smile that we welcome words for today from the excellent sports writer, Eliot. Here, he’s turned his enormous arched eyebrow on Birmingham City. Yes, Birmingham City. He had this to say…

    What they need

    taylor

    Martin Taylor may not get the warmest of welcomes back to the Premier League, and should probably be put on some type of Care in the Community scheme whilst he settles back in. Centre-back partnet Liam Ridgewell gave away seven penalties in 05/06 at Villa, so with that duo, another centre-half is essential. Much hinges on the signing of Christian Benitez. If it comes off, he and Kevin Phillips could score the goals to keep Brum up.

    Who they don’t need

    Cameron Jerome wasn’t good enough for the Premier League on his last visit, and its unlikely he has improved sufficiently after a year in the Championship. Ditto Gary McSheffrey. Just ten league goals between them in 07/08.

    Don’t mention

    GYI0050970348.jpg

    Steve Bruce. The man not deemed good enough to manage Brum by chairman David Gold, has established a reputation for unearthing jewels from across the world. Instead of signing Zaki, Palacios and Figueora for Birmingham, he took them to Wigan.

    Inevitably linked with

    Scots. Aston Villa cast-offs. Violent men.

    Any other business

    With Lee Bowyer, Franck Queudrue and Martin Taylor all in their ranks, expect absentees through suspension to be a common theme throughout Birmingham’s season..