CLUE: it’s not an underpants condition caused by long films…
In a week that already blew our minds with the Philips CushionSpeaker, we’re now faced with something just as mind-bendingly ergonomicalistic, only smaller.
So, you got yourself an iPhone/iPod/Sony PSP/Zune HD and have illegally downloaded several films to watch on your gap year trip to Bangalore, Phuket, Melbourne, Aukland, back over to Sydney and a brief but expensive stopover at LAX? Well done. Now you’re on the first of many 37 hour flights in your exciting ball-growing adventure, but suddenly, three quarters of the way through High School Musical, your arm starts to get tired. You try to ignore it, but even the touching beauty of Zac Efron’s face can’t distract you from the pain surging through your limp arms, after almost an hour of holding that sexy 3.2-inch display in front of you – you’re a student, you don’t work out. It’s so, so heavy. As expected, your arm finally fails you, and panic sets in, as you lurch around desperately trying to plug the headphones that Aeroflot gave you into your seat, so that you can watch the Chinese version of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, because you can’t figure out how the on-board entertainment system works. For the remaining 36.2 hours of your flight, Jonathan Ke Quan (playing Indy) fittingly berates his young western sidekick over and over again, and you shed a single tear for your failed Zac Efron-athon.
Now, don’t beat yourself up, because we’ve ALL been there, and the great news is that this need NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, because of a little gizmo called the MovieWedge. It’s a genius little gadget accessory that’s basically a beanbag. That’s right, a bloody beanbag. It allows you to position your device of choice on your knee, your lap, on your shoulder, on your side table, freeing you up to be gorgeously lulled to sleep by the sound of David Attenborough’s sweet whispering voice documenting the difficulty of conservation in areas providing habitation for ocelots and yellow-bellied sapsuckers. Or, indeed, a Zac Efron turn, should you be a sucker for his brand of method acting.
I will certainly be purchasing one if I can’t get a free one by writing this article. Ahem…
The MovieWedge is available from www.moviewedge.com for US$9.95 (approx £6).
Basically, a story about a hard drive
When I was at the Technology and Gadgetry School of Journalism in Agunnaryd, Sweden (where IKEA started, as it happens), I was taught the most important rule of writing about gadgets:
There are two sides to every gadget, the first is what it does and how well it does it. The second is how AWESOME does it look?
Sometimes though, you have to ignore this fundamental rule because the gadget does something so mind-blowingly excellent that it doesn’t matter if it looks like a 1984 Skoda Rapid. And sometimes it doesn’t even matter if the gadget does anything at all, because it looks so damn awesome.
Behold, the LG N2R1 NAS. Just what the hell is this thing? It’s got a door with cool holes on it that look like they came out of a nuclear bunker, and you can put CDs in it! There’s a pop-up thing on the top with a USB plug. And I bet that screen looks all retro and orangey when it’s on, like something out of War Games, starring Matthew Broderick. It’s glossy and white on the outside, and all sterile and mechanic on the inside, as though it fell to Earth from the space ship in 2001: A Space Odyssey. It definitely speaks like HAL, it must do. Sitting there, challenging you to games of chess, tic-tac-toe, and global thermonuclear war.
Or perhaps it’s some kind of time capsule? Actually, I bet it is. By the look of it, you probably have to press certain different nozzles and gizmos in a specific sequence to make it open up and reveal the treasures of a past alien civilisation. Maybe there will be the secret to time travel inside? Or perhaps a terrible spore that will turn us all into growling, lurching zombies? I’d like to see it filled with unicorn tears (of happiness).
Whatever it is, we at the 28-story building with many, many attractive young women typing on typewriters in it – aka the Interestment offices – have pre-ordered one for each of our beautiful employees for their Christmas present.
(BTW, the LG N2R1 is a network-attached storage device – a hard disk, boooring – that accommodates up to 2TB of data and features a built-in DVD burner. It is expected to be available at online retailers some time this Autumn for a Rip-off Britain markup equivalent of US$399)
You heard it here first. Probably.
OS X 10.4 crowned best Macintosh operating system
Big brainy computer eggheads simply love using wild beasts to symbolize their products, so using independent research methods, Interestment learned the truth about the most excellent operating system in the world of Apple computers, Macintosh OS X, by asking Nick, our big cats expert, “out of a Cheetah, Jaguar, Panther, Tiger, Leopard and a Snow Leopard, which one would win in a fight?”
Nick’s answer: “Tiger – no hesitation”.
So there you have it, start downgrading your MaccyBook-Books and Immac Pros back to 10.4 before the hipsters-in-the-know start to laugh at your 64-bit operating system, refined dock and starry desktop wallpaper on your next daytime, wi-fi thieving, roll-your-own-ciggies visit to the Art Café in Dalston.
Cushion makes YouTube-fueled lovemaking more enjoyable
It’s always a complete pleasure to hear from an important member of the Interestment family, and today it’s the turn of Spencer – a very funny man with a degree in gadgetary. He had this to say about a wonderful new cushion…
A bit of scientific, in-depth, secret industry background: laptops generate a lot of heat, so if you put them on your lap – as their name demands – your warm sensual thighs insulate them, meaning that they heat up very quickly. And annoyingly, hot computers run slower than cool ones. Anyone insane enough to actually use a laptop on their lap will know that they have a habit of sweat-soaking rectangular shapes into your trousers, or if you’re in bed, it might heat up to molten proportions and erupt into terrifying flames within the first five minutes of your favourite Attenborough documentary about blind naked mole rats on BBC iPlayer.
However, the gigantic-craniumed boffins at Philips have been working around the clock, and have the answer. It’s a laptop stand AND a cushion, which is soft on the bottom to keep your legs comfortable, and hard on the top to keep your laptop cool. To take it one step further, they’ve even integrated a speaker system in the front of the squodgy cushion bit to make sitting in bed with your lady, browsing Isaac Hayes and Barry White videos, that much more bass-heavy: exactly how it should be.
According to the press photography (pictured), the system is also ideal for stretching out next to before you do your morning exercises whilst wearing spandex, completely ignoring the functional aspects of the device.
The Philips Cushion Speaker will be available some time in the next month or two for 69 Euros… whatever they are. If you can’t wait that long, try going to your local Poundsaver or Matalan homestore and picking up one of those beanbag trays that clever grannies have.
Great food cooked by street urchins
It’s always a tremendous feeling when we hear from one of the growing Interestment flock, and today it’s the turn of Spencer – an excellent leaver-of-comments, and designer of banners – to tell us a little bit about last night’s dinner. He had this to say…
Last night, I went for beverages and foods at Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen restaurant in London – a place where you can eat almost-perfect posh British food and all of the money goes to educating young chefs who would otherwise be grilling rats on a Chigwell estate or cheffing up a Rustlers in a bedsit. Yet, in a foodie twist of fate, they have been touched by Oliver’s podgy healing hands, and now they are well within flobbing distance of television stardom alongside the likes of Jamie, Ainzzz, Hest, The Lloyd Man, Hugh Hugh, Ramsey, King Marco and Floydsie.
You serious? Yes I am, because these former glue sniffers are now being trained to cook delicious treats like Slow Roast Dalgarnock Pork Belly with Lentils Di Castelluccio and mouthwateringly scrumptious Grilled Scotch Bavette Steak with Oozy Wet Polenta, Gorgonzola Dolce-pine Nut Butter and Fresh Horseradish. I’m not kidding, these are probably the two best things I have eaten in a very, very long time.
When made aware that the menu of the evening was brand new I immediately turned around and scanned the room, hysterically searching out famous faces. I’ve seen Rammo’s Kitchen Nightmares, I know that a new menu sparks a celebrity buzz even mightier than a Jordan wedding being photographed in OK! I searched the tables for Myleene Klass, the Bedingfield sisters, that Welsh bloke off T4, the Hollyoaks kittens. And, yet, as it was, none of them had bothered to turn up.
Now for the all important star rating:
Food: 8/10 (posh student cooking)
Drinks: 9/10 (a tad pricey)
Service: 7/10 (quite slim, blonde: not really my type)
Celebrity spotting: 6/10 (so much potential)
Overall Interestment score: 47
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