We’ve reveled in Part One and Part Two of our hit parade countdown, so rather unsurprisingly today finds us enjoying Part Three, which features ten fine Number One hits that didn’t quite make it into the Top 10. But they needn’t be ashamed, as they are still great big giants amongst men. Amongst them are the Arctic Monkeys – a relatively new band – the finest Bowie single of them all, Madonna’s greatest moment, and the funkiest song about beating people up that’s ever been carved into vinyl. Plus, of course, there’s the inevitable Rod Stewart number. Hence, 11-20 reads a little something like this…
11. Joe Cocker, With a Little Help From My Friends (1968)
12. Gary Numan, Cars (1979)
13. Beyonce, Crazy In Love (2003)
14. Rod Stewart, Maggie May (1971)
15. Madonna, Into The Groove (1985)
16. The Human League, Don’t You Want Me (1981)
17. Carl Douglas, Kung Fu Fighting (1974)
18. David Bowie, Ashes to Ashes (1980)
19. Procul Harum, A Whiter Shade of Pale (1967)
20. Arctic Monkeys, I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor (2005)
Big Brother’s conjoined twins…
Thanks to reality television, Susan Boyle – the Scottish guy who really should win Britain’s Got Talent – is going completely mental. This is because there is no such place as Fame Mountain any more. Fame Mountain, for those who don’t know, was a paradise – a sanctuary – where talented, gorgeous people could swan around in secret, listening only to the gentle strums of harp music, or the booming magnificence of their own sacred voices as they sacked someone on speaker-phone. But it is no more. Nowadays, celebrities are so numerous that they have to live down here with us normals. They are forced to bathe in the same waters as us, shop on the same rowdy street markets as us, and sometimes they even live on the same roads as us. It’s totally bonkers. And, hence, spotting these amazing people has become like a sport.
Just this week, many of you have enjoyed a field day, with someone spotting one of those people who does the slightly smug links on T4. Then Stefan saw Clive James of being Clive James fame doddering around on Regent’s Street, looking “about a million years old”. But this week’s big winner is Kelly, who spotted Thing One and Thing Two from Big Brother. “They were sitting next to me in the Topshop cafe,” confirms Kelly. Excellent work.
Kelly wins this week’s Interestment Mix Tape, which features The Chiffons, Rod Stewart, and some amazing synthesizer music.
Email your spots to [email protected]
P.P Arnold, The First Cut is the Deepest
It’s Thursday, friends, so pack your anger into a cupboard, put your tension into a little box. It’s the official day of love, lust, and smearing great big dripping fistfuls of sandalwood massage oil into your partner’s soft quivering legs. So, dim the lights, allow a soft breeze to sing through your underpants, and enjoy some important words from P.P. Arnold. Here, she’s explaining to a lover that she was once left heart broken and destroyed, but she might now be ready to slip between the satin sheets again.
Faces, Stay With Me
When Steve Marriott walked out on the Small Faces, in came Ronnie Wood and Rod Stewart, and suddenly they didn’t look so dinky anymore, hence they became just Faces instead. A fantastic band, they gave the world Wood, Stewart, and Worzel Gummidge hair. Brilliant.
This young blondie missed the cut…
Soul music is rife in the charts these days, there’s even something of a Brit invasion going on in America. Adele, Estelle, Duffy, Wino, the Stone-mason – they’re all at the forefront of a very ladylike UK soul movement. It’s great. And yet, none of the five would make this list. Neither would Craig David, who might be mocked and vilified post-Bo Selecta, but still remains a decent singer with a smashing beard. Sade, Mick Hucknall (seriously), Paul Weller, Mark Morrison, Caron Wheeler, and Terri Walker are other notable absentees. In the end, we plumped for these sparkling young things…
A hideously underrated international soul voice, he appears to be held in higher esteem over in America, where he has worked with Angie Stone, Erykah Badu, Leon Ware, and Stevie Wonder. There’s Nothing Like This is a classic soul record, whatever the era.
2. Alice Russell
While the likes of Joss Stone and Duffy get all the plaudits, and the Dusty Springfield comparisons, this girl is the real blue eyed soul sensation of the moment. Her voice is startlingly good, she’s worked with the excellent Quantic Soul Orchestra, and below is a fantastic rendition of a White Stripes song that she sang with Nostalgia 77. Amazing.
3. Leona Lewis
Whatever your feelings about Simon Cowell shows, and awful young reality oiks with their silly dreams and stupid aspirations, they really did stumble across a gem with this girl. She’s got tight curly hair, and, even better, she looks set to stand alongside Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, which is really saying something. A genuinely fantastic pop/soul singer.
4. Rod Stewart
This one was a close call, with Joe Cocker and Young Americans era David Bowie pushing him close, but before he morphed into an appallingly bland old man singing from the American songbook, Rod Stewart was a marvelous young mod/soul singer with a brilliant-sounding throat infection. Excellent work, Rod. Now cough.