100 Seinfeld Quotes
Mickey Rourke, literally our favourite actor of all time, is 53 today. Hence we shall be celebrating with a quadruple bill of Angel Heart, The Pope of Greenwich Village, Barfly, and the magnificent 9 1/2 Weeks. It’s going to be quite a day. Plus we thought we should grab Mickey a gift, so we all got into a ring and started stapling one another’s backs, whilst roaring present ideas at the heavens, and it wasn’t long before it had boiled down to a toss up between a botox voucher, or a mash-up clip of our favourite sitcom. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Mickey!
Actor goes out with model
Poor Mickey Rourke. Officially our number one actor, he used to have it all – the cash, the clothes, the startling boy band looks. Then, the story goes that he was smashed from pillar to post, shunned by his peers, and ended up on a backstreet plastic surgery table have Barbie dolls melted all over his face. The world was torn over which would suffer the worst – his career? Or his love life? As it turns out, the giddy hand of Lady Luck decided to throw a curve ball, and now his career is peaking like never before. He has even become something of a sexual revelation to a whole new generation who probably haven’t seen his excellent work in 9 1/2 Weeks. Just today, certain showbusiness reporters have been standing back and applauding as Mickey took to the New York drinking scene with a beautiful young underpants model called Eugenia Volodina. An actor? With a model? What?
Elsewhere, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – collectively known as Bragina – have been whipping showbusiness reporters into a trouser bursting frenzy of excitement by nipping out for a bite to eat in France’s most famous cinema town, Cannes.
Um, okay, coming right up…
For those of you sick to death with our constant gazing into the past, there is a morsel of good news. We’ve been doing bits and pieces for the wonderful grown up gossip site Hecklerspray – this week focusing on Celebrity Lazaruses, like Barry from Eastenders, Mickey Rourke and Michael Jackson. It’s a great read, even if we do say so. Go and have a butchers here.
Some fantastic movies missed out…
Were a decade ever yin/yanged, it was the 1980s. One part bleak, the other part loud, colourful, and a little bit transvestite. Depressed, unemployed miners wandered the streets in fluorescent shorts and crop tops, their exhausted wives secretly dried their evening tears on big yellow leg-warmers. Absolutely everyone had AIDS. Some might say that it was the decade that veered away from good taste, but you can ignore them, it’s just the pipe smoking women who are struggling to leave the 1970s art house alone. They’re idiots. We happen to adore 1980s cinema, and in our quest for a top four, some enormous names clunked onto the cutting room floor – ET, Purple Rain, Ghostbusters, Platoon, Back To The Future, Goonies, Scanners, Fletch, The Thing, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off… the list is actually endless…
1. Breakdance: The Movie
Over in America, this was called Breakin’ – but that was probably a bit too slang for British tastes. In a decade awash with great underdog stories – The Karate Kid, Rocky IV, Teen Wolf – this was the most vibrant and moving. It’s the tale of a frustrated young jazz dancer making friends with some hardened breakdancers/bodypoppers, who like to earn their stripes by taking down suckers in street dancing battles. The final sequence features three toned go-getters teaching some crusty old people what being young is all about. The tears flowed like champagne that day.
The 1980s celebrated extreme violence, and movies don’t come much more gruesome than Robocop – the story of a good police officer getting shot to smithereens, before being resurrected in machine form. He’s a bit like a kinder version of Darth Vader, only in Detroit, and a policeman. In amongst the gore lurks a tale about the human spirit, and how it can never really die. This made Robocop not only a stomach turner, but something of a tear jerker too.
3. The Breakfast Club
By far the best of the John Hughes films, for a while this was the coolest film of all time – thanks mainly to Judd Nelson’s startling portrayal of a school rebel. He even trailblazed diamond earrings on sixth formers. Yes, he was that mega-wicked. Joining him was the spoilt little princess (Molly Ringwald), the geek (Anthony Michael Hall), the total douche (Emilio Estevez) and Little Miss Weirdo (Ally Sheedy). As with most films about teenagers, this one demands that we all just love one another, both emotionally, and probably a bit sexually too. Dynamic stuff.
4. 9 1/2 Weeks
At the height of their looks, Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger made for one very sexy couple. This was their ode to love making and milky desires in the middle of the night. It’s also one of about a million sex dramas made in the 1980s – notably including the brilliant Fatal Attraction, which very nearly made the list. In this, Rourke plays a mysterious stranger, who makes Basinger all giddy by smearing food on her, but doesn’t appear to be good husband-material. This, of course, drives her to the edge of insanity, which wouldn’t have pleased facial haired feminists one bit. A smashing film.
Mickey Rourke, Independent Spirit Award
Billy Zane turns 43 today, and over the years he’s been there, done it with her, bought them, sold that, taken a role in Titanic, dated Kelly Brook, and eaten more hot dinners than you’ve had hot dinners. So what to get him? We discussed for eight minutes, and it boiled down to either some pint glasses to drink beer from, or a clip of Mickey Rourke making a brilliant acceptance speech. In the end we got him both! Happy Birthday Zany!
Hollywood deny fairy tale ending…
While we all go bananas with joy at the thought of Mickey Rourke rising from the ashes like a big fat phoenix with extensive facial surgery, it seems that the pipe smoking women of The Academy couldn’t give a hoot. They did the same thing with John Travolta in 1994 – denying him his triumphant comeback Oscar for Pulp Fiction, instead giving it to Tom Hanks for his impression of George W Bush in Forrest Gump. And last night, it went to another man playing a politician – Sean Penn in Milk.
That isn’t to say that Penn is completely undeserving, he is. Some might argue that he’s a brilliant actor. Unfortunately, he seems like such a real life cretin. And now he’s positioning himself as the Meryl Streep of the Best Actor world – nominated every single year, lurking in the shadows, the default winner if no one can decide who should get it. He’s already done it before – when Bill Murray would have made for a better winner in 2003 – and this year, he can probably thank the Academy members who couldn’t bring themselves to forgive Mickey Rourke for being so rude to them in the 1980s.
Don’t worry, Mickey, you’re still our number one.
Cage, Dillon, Penn, some other guy…
Watching Mickey Rourke rising from the flames like a lumpy phoenix with a strange surgically enhanced face at the Bafta Awards got us to remembering all of his old films. He was great in Angel Heart, Barfly, 9 1/2 Weeks. And, of course, Rumble Fish. What a line up in that film! Mickey Rourke, Dennis Hopper, Matt Dillon, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Nicolas Cage, Chris Penn, Tom Waits. “Is this the most excellently cast film of all time?” we wondered, taking a big puff on a wooden pipe.
Other contenders include: The Towering Inferno – Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Fay Dunaway, Fred Astaire, OJ Simpson; Body Heat – William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, Mickey Rourke, Ted Danson; The Breakfast Club – Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hall; The Godfather – Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton etc…
But what is YOUR favourite cast of all time? Let us know with a comment…
And enjoy a tribute to Rumble Fish after the jump…
The one that no one wants…
Hollywood is littered with strange bag women, but should you ever find the time, you’d be wise to talk to them. Around 30 per cent are former Best Supporting Actress Oscar winners. Remember Marcia Gay Harden? Mira Sorvino? Mercedes Ruehl? A hunch suggests that they all share a bin in downtown LA. Plus 1973 winner, Tatum O’Neal, is an actual crack addict.
Hence, no one especially wants to win this one, and this year the unfortunates with their careers dangling by a spittle thin thread are: Amy Adams (Doubt), Penelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona), Viola Davis (Doubt), Taraji P. Henson (Benjamin Button), and Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler).
Tomei, already a “winner” in 1992 (My Cousin Vinny), can be counted out immediately. Read more…
It’s a two horse race, they say… they might be wrong
Anyone who decided to stroll into a cinema at the weekend probably left with a brain shriveled and sloshing around, destroyed. This is not light-hearted movie season, friends, this is the Oscar race in full flow. Actors have started taking themselves seriously, films are a little more demanding. Tom Cruise even thought it wise to play a Nazi with an eye patch, but to no avail. It might be that he made no attempt to sound like a German that damaged his chances. Or that he’s just not very good. Who knows?
As it is, the Best Actor category is going to be a corker, with the bookies insisting that it’s in the bag for Mickey Rourke (Interestment’s number one actor, FYI) for his role as a battered old man in a leotard in The Wrestler. It’s a great performance in a mediocre film Read more…
These men did not make the cut…
Actors tend to get divided into two camps early on. You get the pristine stars with their squeaky clean images, questionable religious beliefs and arranged marriages. And then you get the real heroes – the men with bad skin, anger problems, strange methods of preparation, addictive personalities, worrying intensity. They tend to be the ones that we like the most, the ones who can turn a good film into a brilliant one. Here are four of the best:
1. Mickey Rourke
By far the coolest man ever, he has enjoyed two excellent careers. One as the great looking heartbreaker in films like Angel Heart, 9 1/2 Weeks, and The Pope of Greenwich Village (below), and another as the heavy set lunatic in Sin City, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and The Wrestler. He has never been bad in a film.