See what we had to say about this woman…
For those still craving words and opinions, we have been doing odds and ends for the fantastic grown up gossip site Hecklerspray. This week, we decided to take a microscope out of our pocket and examine some absolutely gorgeous older women, including Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Lopez, Sadie bloody Frost, and someone called The Body. Read all about that here.
If you like laughing at things, and people telling funny jokes, then you might be interested to know that the first Interestment comedy night is taking place in South London on September 4th. It promises an excellent line up of new up-and-coming comedians upstairs, and a couple of very withered old DJs playing soul, funk and rap records downstairs. Come along! It’s only three quid or something. More about that here.
That’s right, this woman is at it again
For most of the human race, the beach is an intimidating landscape, where hundreds of judgmental eyes hidden beneath sunglasses study you top to foot, surveying your body for hiccups. Those Winter beers might have left a wobbling gut spilling over your swimming knickers, or perhaps your thighs have the consistency of three-day-old custard? You are, after all, a normal person. The good news is that around 93 per cent of people on the beach look much better covered up. But unfortunately, the remaining 7 per cent will leave a permanent smudge on the brain, with their taut, muscular, sensual bodies. Even their tan comes out even. 84 per cent of the 7 per cent work in the entertainment industry – be it as a stripper, an actress, a bodybuilder, a pop star, a stylist. And just this week, a host of pretty actresses have left showbusiness desks agog with their bikini bodies – particularly Jennifer Lopez. She’s 40 years old, declared one journalist in particular, and yet she still looks wonderful in her dinky red bikini. It’s her bum that made her famous, they continue, blissfully unaware that it was actually her singing, dancing and acting. Her bum was just a plump, happy coincidence.
Elsewhere in the celebrity world, Jessica Alba caused a stunned head-shaking silence when she took to a beach looking attractive and thin – even though she’s had a baby! Like, a few months ago! And Jack Nicholson made everyone barf by having a big blubbery stomach.
What’s interesting about this birthday girl?
For those of you who like reading about famous people, we have been doing odds and ends for the wonderful grown up gossip site Hecklerspray. This week, we thought we’d cast a very judgmental eye over some beautiful celebrities (including Jennifer Lopez) who choose to settle down with rather unattractive young men. See what we had to say here.
In other exciting news, you can now follow us on Twitter by clicking on the little bird in the top right of your screen, or you can follow us on Facebook, and – AND ! – we’ve only recently launched Interestment Television, which will be growing and growing over the coming weeks and months. Plus, in super exciting news, there is an Interestment music and comedy night in the pipeline, much more on that to come….
Darth Vader feels the Blues
For those of you wondering, Jennifer Lopez is 39 today, which means that it’s her birthday. Hence she’ll be much more demanding than usual – the staff will have to divert their eyes as they hand over their presents, all drinks will be served at a few degrees short of room temperature, and Tom Cruise and his beer swilling buddies will be over later to bust through a few cans and dance around to house music. That’s just how they do things in Hollywood. That’s the birthday vibe. So we thought we’d get her a gift, and after exactly nineteen minutes of very half-hearted conversation, it boiled down to a toss up between some of those wonder-knickers that make your bum look bigger, or a clip of Darth Vader that over three million people appear to have enjoyed, but we’d never once come across. That’s right, we’re pretty with it. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Your Lopezness!
This time, it’s a certain Franco-Englander…
Bold as brass she stood there, wearing the fashionable Longoria stripes – as opposed to the Roberts spots – sunning herself in a bikini, even though she’s 41! As everyone knows, most 41-year-olds have put their beach days behind them, and instead hide away in darkened rooms, hoping for the cold hand of death to finally muffle their screams and take them away. It’s all over when you’re 41. You’re kids have finished university, you can’t remember your pubes ever being anything but grey, and your beautiful stomach tatt of a cheerful dolphin now looks like a dying catfish. And yet, Davina McCall, the woman who mixes talking with shouting at a professional level, has shocked most of the British speaking planet by going on holiday, slipping into something a 30-year-old might wear, and not looking completely revolting. One showbiz reporter in particular took one look at the pictures, then leant back in his chair, clapping his hands, as a lonely teardrop zipped down his cheek and went smashing onto the N of his keyboard. Bravo Davina McCall. Bravo.
In other news Jennifer Lopez (pictured) has been spotted enjoying quality time with her children, while in another corner of the acting world, Mischa Barton – star of the excellent OC – appears to have gone loco, and can now be contacted through doctors and nurses in a psychiatric ward. One journalist in particular seems very keen to point out that a similar kind of thing happened to Britney Spears not so long ago. And now she’s totally fine, sooooo….
Not too posh, apparently
People talk of the miracle of childbirth – the word miracle painting pictures of velvet pillows, great looking doctors, and babies floating effortlessly into the world. And yet, the last time we were in biology class, babies came out shouting, fathers wept, and mothers finally gave in and allowed each orifice to explode one by one. In short, it looked like something that rich people should probably avoid. Not a problem, however, for Coleen Rooney – the wife of the great looking Man United star, Wayne. No sir. She has insisted that she actually wants to allow the small baby growing inside her the exit her body in the natural manner. Like it might from a poor person. “Not to posh to push, me,” she tells readers of the highly thought of celebrity pamphlet, OK! Good for her.
In other news, Jessica Biel (below) – an actress who is famous for enduring Justin Timberlake’s moist hands and wet kisses – has wowed pretty much the entire celebrity world by having a great bottom. One celebrity reporter can’t believe how similar it is to Jennifer Lopez’s one. Are they sisters?
(no, they’re not)
Cristiano Ronaldo vs Lionel Messi
It’s easy for Enrique Iglesias – who turns 34 today – he already knows that he’s the best at what he does. Literally, there isn’t another sultry thirty-something Latin guy out there who can melt hearts and ignite minds quite like he can. Yes, there’s Ricky Martin who can ignite the minds, and the guy married to J.Lopez who can melt the hearts, but no one can do both, not like Enrique can. Not like Enrique can. Anyway, that aside, we thought we’d buy the man a gift, so we sat on opposite sides of a wooden table smashing back tiny shots of the good stuff, biting limes and licking salt, shouting ideas with increasing levels of aggression. It boiled down to a toss up between a hilarious Daffy Duck cheque book – they’re not real cheques! – or a video clip debating the worth of Cristiano Ronaldo against that of Lionel Messi. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Iglesias!