Woman in exercising frenzy
If the rumours are true, were you to do enough sit ups, you will one day end up with a stomach that slightly resembles a posh leather chair from the 1970s. It’s true. Look at Peter Andre – of recent splitting up with Jordan fame – he once built an entire career on having abdominals that looked like two giant packets of Extra chewing gum stood side to side, buried under a tight layer of golden skin. That was his thing. His vibe. And funnily enough, Melanie Brown of the Spice Girls famously used to endure entire evenings sweating loudly betwixt the Andre silky bed spread – and now she’s acheived almost the same level of extreme tummy sculpture. Spotted wearing a white bikini in Vegas, one showbiz reporter in particular can’t believe that she once managed to fit babies in that taut angry stomach of hers. She, they insist, is taking the six pack to a whole new level. Do they mean to the heights of becoming a seven or eight pack? We’re not sure.
In other intriguing celebrity news, Susan Boyle – the Scottish guy who came second in Britain’s Got Talent – has reportedly booked a cot in a fashionable rehabilitation centre, where she can get some decent sleep, and talk endlessly about her woes. Good luck to her. Plus, one time Oscar winner, Halle Berry, frenchied one time Oscar winner Jamie Foxx on live television. The showbusiness world has been rendered totally shocked. Here she is in Bond…
Smiley Culture, Cockney Translation
Grace Jones – quite possibly the greatest women to tread the earth – turns 57 today, and what a life that strange and intriguing woman has enjoyed. She’s bashed Russell Harty in the face on live television, she’s spoken in a robot voice many many times, and she pioneered the must-have 80s flat top. Plus she is responsible for the best party record of all time – Pull Up to the Bumper, a song all about how complicated it can be parking a car on a busy day. And don’t forget that she was in by far the most luxuriant of the Bond films – A View To A Kill. Don’t mind if we do. Anyway, we thought we’d get her a gift, so we squeezed into leotards, and talked it through in a mirrored night club dance studio, one half of the room snapping their fingers and demanding that we give her some lovely candles for the bathroom, while the other side did a series of sensational pirouettes and insisted that it was a Smiley Culture clip or nothing. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Grace Jones!
Ursula Andress in Dr No
Ursula Andress turns a whopping 73 today, and what a life she’s had. She was in the greatest sword and sandals film of all time, Clash of The Titans, and she once took her clothes off for Playboy. So, we thought we should buy her a present. We discussed long into the evening, drinking Cherry Coke and eating raisins to stay awake, and it boiled down to a toss up between a hilariously enormous hand made of foam, or a clip of her coming out of the sea to sing a song about fruit with the fourth best Bond. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Ursula!