Terrifying new shoes…
Fashion – it’s so damn hard to keep up with. The minute we’d cottoned on to wearing Brokeback Mountain cowboy shirts, tight little shorts, and bright orange deck shoes, all of the angular fashion kids had moved on to something else. We felt so stupid, standing there in a grotty East London pub, everyone laughing at us from behind their heavy curtained fringes. We just looked so Spring/Summer 09. We didn’t realise that it was Autumn/Winter 10. Hence, we shan’t be returning to that pub in a hurry. Or will we? Thankfully, here in the sprawling Interestment offices, we have access to some of the greatest fashion brains in the whole of London, so rather than walking through trendy Shoreditch with our ears pressed against coffee shop windows trying to decipher tips, we just ask Hannah B – friend of the site, and massive expert on cloth. “Zips and studs are very popular at the moment,” she told us over a pint of the Sea Breezy stuff, “not so much in a Vivien from the Young Ones style, but much more chic than that.”
“You’ll find them classically placed on leather jackets – which is nothing new – but also on shoes, belts, dresses, leggings, jeans….everywhere really. Agyness Deyn was spotted recently wearing customised Converse with studs all over them and these boots are to die for. It’s all a bit bondage which instantly makes it sexy, but as the high street is proving, its totally wearable as well.”
So there you have it. Studs. Now go, people. Shop!
What is Cool?
So here it is, friends, Interestment Television – here to provide extremely important information and entertainment. Over the coming weeks, months and years we aim to feed your brains, excite your eyes, and occasionally blow your minds. There may yet be an intriguing new internet sitcom in the pipeline, and we’re even toying with the idea of a gameshow. But to kick things off, we thought we’d head down to the magnificently trendy Brick Lane area of London to ask the locals exactly what being cool is all about. They shed a very small amount of light on the matter.
Very hot right now…
As ever, we’ve been draping ourselves in fashionable coffee shops, pretending to write poems, but secretly listening in to angular conversations to see if we can pick up style tips. With the help of Hannah – friend of the site and big fashion brain – we have learned that fashion can often overlook politics entirely. The whisper in all the most downtrodden pubs where barmen sport vests and look like they have serious genital warts, is that the Union Jack – often synonymous with terrifying racist organisations, and rugby teams – is enjoying something of an upsurge in more trendy circles. “It’s the classic punk aesthetic,” Hannah told us over a brewski with lime in it because it’s the summer, “naff British eccentricity meets rock and roll – fashion is in love with the Union Jack just now.” And with that, we immediately ran away to stock up on Union Jack boxer shorts, t-shirts, shirts, knickers, stockings, boots, hats, scarves, gloves, shoes, and socks. We may have taken things too far.
You heard it here first, non-racist friends.
The rest of you, we’re being ironic okay! It’s fash-un not fash-ist!
Yours for just five hundred smackaroos!
We love hearing about fashion, that’s why we wander through the more bulbous trend setting streets of London with our ears smearing the walls of angular coffee shops, hoping to pick up tips. But today’s gem fell right into our laps, thanks to friend of the site, and excellent fashion mind, Hannah.
The word is that scarves are IN. Which is great news, because everyone loves scarves, from those scary street gang kids who rob newsagents with gorgeous printed silks over their faces, like Dick Turpin, to old women who wrap them around their heads so that they don’t get their hair wet when they’re scrubbing their front steps to the theme tune of Last of The Summer Wine. Even fierce model types love them, and the scarf du jour for anyone with absurd amounts of money is the Roses Stole Louis Vuitton scarf – a scarf so hot that you can’t even get it in London. You’ll need to go to New York or something, where it’ll set you back about £500. It’s stunning, it’s silk, and Posh Spice probably polishes her brass door knocker with the things.
You heard it here first, women. Now, go, shop!
Once an Alice Band, now a Fascinator
Sometimes, to make something fashionable, you just need to change the name up a bit. No one was drinking Magners back when it was called Daddy’s Apple Juice (which may or may not have happened) and would people still wear jeans if they were called Trampies? No they wouldn’t. Which leads us very smoothly to Fascinators, the latest must-have fashion gadget for girls, which used to be so uncool when they were just called Alice Bands. Friend of the site and remarkable fashion mind, Hannah, put us onto these, accurately pointing out that “they used to be worn only at weddings, but now they’re ten-a-penny in the fashion pages and on celebs”. Too true, too true. “Plus,” she continues, “wearing headbands over your forehead like Titania – the fairy princess – is an odd trend that has taken to the streets now and is super popular with young girls, including Paris Hilton, Peaches Geldof, Sienna Miller and the like.”
You heard it here first, women. Now go! Shop!