You know – Helen Adams…
With all of the reality television shows hitting screens every year, Fame Mountain has become overcrowded – so much so, that numerous celebrities have been forced to mingle in amongst the little people, with only a set of enormous sunglasses and caps pulled right down at the front marking them out as REALLY FAMOUS. We just love it when we spot these people. Absolutely love it.
Just last week, friend of the site Spencer was enjoying a quiet drink in a lovely Bristol pub, when he was left utterly bewildered by the arrival of Helen Adams. You know – the girl who lost out to the Irish gay man on Big Brother 1962. “I couldn’t stop staring at her,” he confessed, “even the beautiful view overlooking Clifton Suspension Bridge couldn’t divert my, nor my mother’s, gaze.”
Well done Spencer, you win the latest Interestment Mix Tape, which features excellent summer music.
He’s the cheerful one at the front…
On average, around a hundred new celebrities crop up each year. This year we’ve been seduced by that brain damaged man with the gold teeth from Britain’s Got Talent, that GaGa thing with the tiny outfits, and there must surely be another Geldof in the pipeline, ready to edit a magazine, or run an angular record label. There just must be. The point being that these people are fizzing and buzzing around us, and no longer even bothering to move into the secret nooks and crannies that litter Fame Mountain. We see them every day, you just need to open your eyes, and send in your spots.
Just last week, a certain member of the Interestment flock saw both Clair Sweeney and Harry Enfield in one afternoon. What an afternoon that was. But the winner this week is Paulie, who somehow managed to see with his own eyes Miquita Oliver – “she was in Tescos, she’s pretty and tall” – Kevin Rowland – “he lives down the road from me, I see him a lot” – and Terry Hall, who was “drinking a coffee, literally about two feet away.” Those are quite some spots.
Hence Paulie wins an Interestment Mix Tape, featuring Prince and much more.
Send your spots to [email protected]
… who once looked like this…
Fans of celebrities will have felt a gargantuan shift in the force over the weekend, as sixteen new faces ascended from everyday society and became famous. There was hairy face, gay guy, the blonde things, posh stuff, Ivan Drago, ink eyes, titchy feet, bitch mouth, Kooks-alike, porn junkie, Sree, Johnny Rotten and Brazil. Plus a couple of others. Names that will now be forever etched in our minds, new faces that we can stop and point at when they’re just trying to buy some Tampax and get home. Plus, of course, more people readying themselves for Movida and Gaffney’s rampaging tongue. Good luck to them.
In big celeb spotting news, just last week, proven-celebrity-spotter Matt caught sight of Trevor Cleaver from Grange Hill. “Or, at least, I think it was him,” said Matt, helpfully. “He was jogging in the park, which is exactly what Cleaver would probably do now.” Unfortunately, Matt will not be winning this week’s mix tape. And that’s because this week’s big winner is newcomer to the site Patrick, who caught an eyeful of the wonderful – and a bit political – Joanna Lumley, shopping in Sainsburys. Not Harrods. Not Waitrose. Sainsburys. “She was wearing a wax jacket an’ all,” says Patrick.
The latest Interestment Mix Tape features Patti Smith and Brand Nubian.
Loves long words, loves them…
Now that Britain’s Got Talent has ensured that we all know at least three famous people on a personal level, celebrites have opted to come down from Fame Mountain to mingle with the normals. People like you, who don’t demand that butter be freshly scooped from the cow, or that the road to your bedroom be paved with rose petals. Plain, normal people, who like orange squash and eat sausages. You.
This week has seen a few well known faces attempting to blend in with society. Friend of the site Bec insists that she saw Beyonce in The Gap. –“But it might not have been her, because I didn’t catch her face”. While Norm may or may not be lying when he says that he saw Elton John in the mirror. No matter though, because this week’s big spot goes to Hannah, who saw the author/celebrity Will Self – a man who adores long words like higgledy-piggledy and mucous membrane. “He was striding around in South London,” she told us, “then he turned into Starbucks, bold as brass.” Starbucks? Really? A celebrity? See, they really are just like us.
Well done Hannah, you’ve won this week’s Interestment Mix Tape, which features Joe Cocker, The Doors, and Donny Hathaway amongst others.
Email your spots to [email protected]
This woman has been spotted… we think
Becoming famous isn’t what it used to be. At one stage, you’d have to sell a million copies of something, or expose your groin at a rugby match to get on the news, but thankfully times have changed. Now anyone can become well known, which makes celebrity spotting a popular sport all around the country. We’ve decided to celebrate that with a new section – to be launched later on in the week – called Slumming It. The name comes from the idea that these people should be entwined under golden sheets on a yacht, not walking the same planet that we do – with its stupid rain and Tescos.
Only last week, Elen Rives (pictured) – the generous Spanish woman who somehow endured Frank Lampard’s moist handshakes for years – was spotted wandering out of a council estate in South London. Or, at least, we think it was her. She was speaking in Spanish. Or Italian. And Panda from Skins – spotted by our friend James – was seen lolling about on some greenery in Bristol.
Send your celebrity sightings to [email protected], and every week the best spot will be sent a much sought-after Interestment Mix Tape.
Happy spotting, friends.