Brigitte Bardot, Pas D’Avantage
Brigitte Bardot is 75 today, and what a 75 years she’s had. She spent a large portion of it being the most beautiful French woman of all time. Then she became a bit old, grumpy, and ever so slightly racist. And now, she’s a spluttering old woman who reminds everyone a little bit of Brigitte Bardot. For her years in the sunshine, we simply had to buy her a gift, so we formed a huddle, stood in the middle of the road, and discussed options, before it boiled down to a toss up between a packet of fags, or a clip of her singing an old song in French. Or German. Or Italian. It’s in something weird anyway. Happy Birthday Bardot!
Not including this classic…
As always, it’s with a great big handshake, back pat, and toothy smile that we hear from Interestment favourite, Oliver – our fashion expert. Today he thought he’d cast a very intense eye over the world of famous women and their hair. He had this to say…
Hair is great stuff. It keeps your head warm, members of the opposite sex can run their fingers through it, and it’s great for flossing your teeth if you’ve stumbled onto astonishingly hard times. It’s also the head’s natural equivalent of a hat. With that in mind, we thought it time to doff a furry cap to our favourite womanly haircuts from years gone by…
1. The Bob
A tricky one to pull off this, but the Bob – named after the way is gently bobs around a lady’s jawline – is a stone cold classic. Posh Spice and the one that’s married to Tom Cruise have both tried it out, both bringing it a spot of demure sensuality. But we really like it on Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction… even if she did rudely steal her date’s smack, bleed everywhere and nearly die.
2. The GI Jane
In terms of aesthetics, this one is a strong, vivid, almost furious look. Hence, usually a hair don’t reserved only for the brave or mental. Britney Spears did it herself, and freaked everyone out, Miss Sigourney Weaver looked like Mr Sigourney Weaver with hers. And, yet, the troubled Irish singer Sinead O’Connor made having not much hair to speak of look magnificent. And did you know that Sinead is actually an anagram of Skinhead?
3. Massive Look-at-me hair
Big drama-hair can set flashbulbs going like fire crackers at a teenage French boy’s virginity losing party, and the likes of Brigitte Bardot, Pammie, Jane Fonda in Barbarella and Farah Fawcett have all worn magnificent hair. Sadly they are all just dusty hair clippings on the floor of life’s salon compared to the queen of the silver screen – Marilyn Monroe. Her hair was actually made by hobgoblins using angel pubes. Or so legend would have it.
4. Pretend Hair
Wigs are basically lies for your head to deceive the world. Fine if you are bald, ill, or a man, but it’s still a bit like getting big fake boobs done, then pretending that you always had good knockers. No one will ever honestly believe you. Still, we like the things, and the finest wig ever can be found eclipsing Natalie Portman’s natural barnet in the naval gazing tale of unfathomable idiots, Closer. She wore a bubblegum pink wig whilst pole dancing, bless her.