The ultimate Summer Picnic menu REVEALED!

Look at them, with their picnics

Welcome, everyone, to the Summer of 2012. Yes it’s only March, yes, a week ago it was snowing, yes, this seems almost absurd it’s so premature. But the world has changed. Seasons don’t blend as they once did, because we’ve all been spraying aerosols into space, and wafting Range Rover smoke at the Ozone Layer. Hence this is Summer, then some time around July we’ll have ice storms, flooding in September. The planet beats to a new rhythm, and from now until Arctic Autumn, every single stretch of UK greenery will be sat upon by small groups of outdoor diners, each one enjoying the warmth on their face, all rampantly snogging one another in between chomps on a scotch egg. With that in mind, we thought it high time we flung open the Interestment Cook Book, from which we plucked only the best recipes for the ultimate Summer picnic. And don’t worry, kitchenphobes, these are so simple that even a hamster in a blindfold could casually fling them together.

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Sausage Rolls

Crisps and Dips


Main Course

Cold Meats

Cold Pizza

Chicken Drumsticks

Smoked Mackerel Pate

Egg Mayonnaise

Various Breads


Bean Salad

Potato Salad

Greek Salad


Salad Dressing



Frozen Yoghurt

And bosh! Great picnic.

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