Showbusiness: WAG bounce-back, and holidays!
Formerly Mr Frank Lampard…
It must be the worse kind of punch in the underpants to be dumped by Frank Lampard. You’ve bore him the fruits of his very small but elegant loins, you’ve ignored the sweaty mist that squirts from every handshake he enters into, and you’ve spent night after night enduring his laborious explanations about various goals that he almost scored for Chelsea. Some nights, you were duty-bound to receive his slobbering tongue kisses as well, as sweat dripped from his angular nose, landing directly onto your pupil, causing you to squeal, which he misinterpreted as delight. It was a tough time. Probably a horrible time. So no wonder Elen Rives – formerly fiancee to Lady Frank – is throwing herself into single life with verve and gusto. Just this week, various news desks have been left in a quivering silence after pictures turned up of Rives partying at the Mobos, with her womanly Spanish bosoms damn near escaping from her dress. Frank would never have allowed that, they’re thinking. And they’re probably right. Excellent work, Elen. You go girl… as they say.
Elsewhere in the serious world of celebrity, everyone is completely flipping out because girl band The Saturdays have decided to go on holiday, and Peaches Geldof went out and got really drunk in a bar that no one can honestly afford. She looks a bit pissed according to one investigative journalist.