Hey squares, get hip to string vests!

Erm, yeah, it’s a strong look…


Our ongoing mission to one day decipher the intricate world of fashion leads us to string vests. That’s right, string vests. Vests made from string, traditionally worn by men who beat their wives, or drunk men who used to beat their wives before their wives left them. Now they just beat themselves. Those string vests, which – if our angular-featured fashion sources are correct – are one of the hot tips for people attempting to look mega-hip and with it this Summer/Autumn. We’ll be honest, these fashion riddles are becoming nearly impossible to figure out – if the rumours are true, all the coolest cats will be sunning themselves on an Ibizan yacht this August sporting deck shoes, string vests, some denim going on, Hitler-hair, and a couple of detailed tatts thrown in for extra dedicated-to-fashion points. And there we were thinking that v-neck t-shirts were a bit edgy. Not so.

String vests. You heard it here first, people. Or, like, nineteenth.

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