Showbusiness: More old woman bikini news!

This time, it’s a certain Franco-Englander…

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Bold as brass she stood there, wearing the fashionable Longoria stripes – as opposed to the Roberts spots – sunning herself in a bikini, even though she’s 41! As everyone knows, most 41-year-olds have put their beach days behind them, and instead hide away in darkened rooms, hoping for the cold hand of death to finally muffle their screams and take them away. It’s all over when you’re 41. You’re kids have finished university, you can’t remember your pubes ever being anything but grey, and your beautiful stomach tatt of a cheerful dolphin now looks like a dying catfish. And yet, Davina McCall, the woman who mixes talking with shouting at a professional level, has shocked most of the British speaking planet by going on holiday, slipping into something a 30-year-old might wear, and not looking completely revolting. One showbiz reporter in particular took one look at the pictures, then leant back in his chair, clapping his hands, as a lonely teardrop zipped down his cheek and went smashing onto the N of his keyboard. Bravo Davina McCall. Bravo.

In other news Jennifer Lopez (pictured) has been spotted enjoying quality time with her children, while in another corner of the acting world, Mischa Barton – star of the excellent OC – appears to have gone loco, and can now be contacted through doctors and nurses in a psychiatric ward. One journalist in particular seems very keen to point out that a similar kind of thing happened to Britney Spears not so long ago. And now she’s totally fine, sooooo….

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