Interestment’s Top Four: Hot Drinks

Some frothy ones didn’t make it…

All the big talk this summer is about how hot drinks actually keep you cool. It is, of course, a lie made up by scientists to make us look stupid, else there would surely be cups of boiling hot coffee waiting for tennis players during court-side changes, footballers would spend half time splashing their faces with Ovaltine, and we’d all be in pub gardens drinking hot spicy Christmas wine instead of Carling tops. Nice try, boffins. Still, we do enjoy hot drinks from time to time, so we thought we’d compile a list of the best ones imaginable…

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1. PG Tips

First thing in the morning, nothing quite hits the mark like a lovely mug of splosh with half a sugar. And for great tea, look no further than PG. It keeps your Yorkshire Tea and your Typhoo out of the running, and not just because of the hilarious monkey adverts. Although, yes, they did play a small part.

2. Caffe Latte

Once known simply as Milky Coffee, the latte has overtaken the cappuccino, because it’s a milkier affair, it maintains the frothy top, and it isn’t drunk by men in mirrored sunglasses listening to Sade. Plus, you won’t be flummoxed by the age old lots of froth but no coffee outrage, because this comes in a tall glass so you know you’re not getting duped by the man.  Perfect for paranoid, shaky people, this should be consumed with at least two sugar lumps, and five or six strong cigarettes.

3. Earl Grey

The ultimate afternoon drink, Earl Grey is like normal tea, but more fragrant, flowery and pretentious. Hence, people think it’s classy. It’s a known fact that if a man orders an Earl Grey during an early evening date, he’s guaranteed at least second base, possibly even four home runs if the going is really good. In that sense, it’s a devastatingly good drink.

4. Horlicks

Hot drinks can be brilliant after sundown, and this malt flavoured little beauty would be our bed partner of choice. Made with hot milk and powder, it just keeps Ovaltine, Hot Chocolate and herbal teas out of the top four. Granted, if your in company, it’s not the sexiest suggestion in the world.