Interestment’s Top Four: Cigarettes

Sometimes it’s sexy, sometimes it’s just not…


Smokers – once they were so damn cool, with their hot cups of coffee, their sexy girlfriends, their interesting media jobs, their slightly brown teeth. But now look at them, huddled together outside pubs, apologetically drawing smoke from a limp Marlboro Light, regaling anyone within earshot with hollow stories about it used to be perfectly legal to take cocaine at your desk and then pester the work experience kid for a date in the toilets. It’s a sad sight, it really shouldn’t be like that. It’s a shame. Now largely clean of cigarettes, Interestment still carries a torch for smoking, smokers, and everything that comes with it. Years of research taught us that these are the four best cigarettes going…

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1. Silver Benson and Hedges


For those not quite booming of voice and upturned of collar enough for Marlboro Lights, the choices are limited. But for a cool, light smoke, you can’t beat the smooth sensation of a Silver Benson. These are essentially Silk Cut for tough guys, and should be enjoyed in quantities of around twenty a day.

2. Winston


For smokers looking for a real hit at the back of the throat, Winston will deliver just the punch you’re looking for, but without the gritty lung pain left by hard hitters like JPS or Marlboro. Plus, of all the packets, this one is the best looking.

3. Mayfair


With the cold financial winter tightening the purse strings, a budget cigarette is all-important, and nothing tells the world that you’re feeling the pinch quite like a packet of cut price Mayfair. They just edge out your Royals. Warning – may cause people around you to become judgemental.

4. Dunhill


Cigarette smokers are generally of a nervous disposition, so it can serve them well to have a prop – a conversation piece. And conversations don’t come much more thrilling than dissecting the curious decision to make a Dunhill packet a different shape to the rest of them. Like Winstons, these will bite you right in the throat, and may cause coughing.

8 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Cigarettes

  1. forty-forty five says:

    Do Dunhill still have that wide packet? I think they were the first brand to go for beveled edges, which was pretty exciting, like 15 years ago…

  2. Spencer says:

    Winston have a crush-proof box though. That’s HIGH TECH.

  3. monkeytennis says:

    I no longer smoke cigarettes, so this is of no interest to me. Can you do one about pipes?

  4. olly says:

    hey mister interestment? what about soft-pack Marlboro Reds…..the true smoke of champions.
    tap tap tap..and out pops a smokey treat. WIN

  5. Mark says:

    Dunhill a different shape?

    Mr Interstment, I would like to point you in the direction of Australia. As an occasional smoker in the 90s, I was cured of the habit by the ludicrous size of the packets of the cheapest smokes.

    I present to you the “Holiday” 50 cigarette pack:

    Perfect for the lazy pokie playing smoker who doesn’t want to move out of their seat for an entire day…

    25s common place out there too – and 40s etc etc. How do they produce sportsmen/women of such high calibre?

  6. faghag says:

    I feel that Lucky Strike were unfortunate to miss out. Oh, the irony.

  7. Spencer says:

    My favourite in the world were Parliament Lights. But you can’t get those in

  8. arthur or martha says:

    More cigarettes had the vague taste of a stale gerbil’s hutch.

    Slim and stately like a Vogue, but not as girly owing to their manky brown colour.

    The perfect partner for a pint of archers and lemonde with a dash of stout. Oh the memories.

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