Showbusiness: Jilted WAG bounces back, and big news about thinness

Good for you, woman, good for you…

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To watch Princess Frank Lampard cantering about a football pitch like a My Little Pony with gelled up hair is a total joy. The way he floats the ball to JT, hits it up to Drog-Drog, threads one through for Coley. It’s a marvel. But, enough of the macho football talk, because Frank hit the news today via his ex-girlfriend, Elen Rives (pictured) – the bosomy Spaniard who endured years of wet Lampard handshakes, and even bore the fruits of his revolting loins. The word on the street is that she – somehow! – has managed to move on following their break up, and she’s now enjoying rampant evenings with a lower-league footballer called Lawrie. Good for her.

In other news, everyone in Cannes has been left with an uncomfortable acid taste in the back of their throats because of Peaches Geldof‘s strange tattooed thighs. And showbiz reporters have been reeling after seeing photographs of the actress Lindsay Lohan looking a little bit thinner than usual. What’s happened to her? Is it because she split up with her lesbian girlfriend? One journalist in particular thinks that it definitely is. It definitely freakin’ is. Here she is back when she was just another curvaceous young lesbian sitting on a bed with a bikini on…

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