Happy Birthday Jon Bon Jovi, here’s the alphabet

Patti LaBelle, Sesame Street

Look at Jon Bon Jovi. Damn it, the man has everything – a brilliant soft rock voice, feathery hair that drives women wild, and sculpted nooks and crannies in his home where he can stash bed partners. What on earth could he want for? We argued like maniacs for an entire weekend, one half of the think tank furiously demanding that we should send him a great big sherry trifle, while the others argued the case of an alphabet lesson from Patti LaBelle. In the end, we put our swords down and decided to give him both. Happy Birthday Bon Joves!

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