Why drug dealing is easier than breastfeeding
Corner boys, take note
Sometimes, as men, it’s easy to forget that while breastfeeding looks like a breeze, it really isn’t. We know this because women around us have started making babies appear, and those little things have got a hunger that just won’t quit. A great friend of the site, known as Daisy, has been multitasking through motherhood, simultaneously watching The Wire while junior feeds vigourously and persistently. Here’s what she learned:
Ten reasons why Breastfeeding is More Difficult than being a drug dealer on The Wire (Season 1).
1. You don’t get new clothes, fancy cars or wads of cash for breastfeeding.
2. You have to breastfeed 24/7 – you can deal drugs whenever you like.
3. It’s impossible to get comfortable when breastfeeding – in The Pit you do business from a sofa.
4. If you’re breastfeeding you have to keep your supply on you at all times – selling red-tops you can move your stash whenever you want.
5. Police don’t need snitch evidence and the go ahead from a judge to stop you breastfeeding in public.
6. When you’re breastfeeding you’re on your own – when dealing drugs someone’s always got your back.
7. If you’ve had enough of breastfeeding you can’t give it all up by turning state’s evidence on a few other mums.
8. When you’re breastfeeding you can’t make your junkie punter wait in line.
9. You can’t cut breastmilk up with cheap substitutes to make a profit (though, yes, you probably could with formula).
10. Breastfeeding with cracked nipples hurts SOOO MUCH.