IMPORTANT news about crisps and choc bars
Hey Mister, where’s the Skips at?
Oh, snack producers are very clever. Whilst cheerfully waving the reissued bags of Roast Beef Monster Munch in your face with one hand, the other is frantically sweeping all the left over Cheese and Onion Squares into a van and having them driven to the crematorium. It’s happened before many many times – where are all the Spicy Tomato Snaps? Haven’t seen Chicken flavour crisps for a while, huh? Can’t remember the last time you lay on the grass seductively gobbling a Lion bar to impress a lover? Our best snacks are in danger, for Christ’s sake! Go to your local shop right now, and you’d be hard pushed to find a decent gentleman’s lunch of Skips, cheese and ham slice, can of Lilt, with a Caramac for pudding in this damn city/country. So, next time you’re in your nearest snack house, ask the kind man where the Skips are, and if he starts sweating and babbling about shipments, stock and the damn credit crunch, you have permission to go totally ballistic.
We’re watching you, bureaucrats.