Petrifying fashion news for eyes
Prepare to be confused…
If there’s one thing that fools the basic human eye like nothing else, it’s stripes. Such is the warped complexity of the average retina, that anything with horizontal or vertical lines draped over an adult body sends them into an insane tizzy. They can no longer work out the usual shape of someone – are they really thinner than they appear? Or fatter? It’s all too much, and unfortunately for your baby blues, the throbbing craniums that rule the fashion roost have decided that it’s time to bring back stripy tops. We’re all going to be wearing them, and, judging by the rumours, horizontal is the way to go – a style that famously makes fat people look like they’ve had a hula hooping accident. So, stock up friends. Get striping!
You heard it here first. Or, like, twentieth.