Tag Archive: second hand shop

  • Second hand bargain: A Michael McDonald Record

    Yeah man, that’s a BEARD

    Michael McDonald

    Of course, before this crippling financial downturn, we could all throw our money around willy-nilly. Hence why typical street-side dustbins were overflowing with untainted McDonalds meals, discarded by drunk businessmen who only nipped in for a cheeseburger and a McPiss, but thought they’d pay with a card, so ended up with nine Big Macs that they didn’t really want. Tramps were fatter, people were happier, and if you wanted to splurge a few quid on a record you wouldn’t normally buy, you’d just sandwich it between a few hipper items, like The Smiths, or one of those Stand Up and Be Counted funk compilations. Unfortunately, now that the pinch of the financial winter has grabbed us all by the underpants, musical purchases need to be well-thought-out, or downloaded on the sly. It’s a weird time for the song singing industry. Really weird. Which is why we feel a warm buzz of euphoria whenever we catch wind of a wonderful bargain. Just yesterday, friend of the site Dan-Dan stumbled across a rather acquired taste in his local Let’s Cure Diseases – or some such. “I’ve always secretly enjoyed the work of Michael McDonald,” he whispered from behind a pillar, “but never enough to fork out proper money for his work, so when I saw it going for second hand prices, I snapped it up – snapped it up real good.” Like Dan-Dan, we also could confess to having a secret thing for the grey haired, bearded, white soul singer. Even if his voice does sound a little bit like a muffled fog horn being sounded from over a nearby hill. So come on Dan-Dan, how much for this humiliating record? “20p”

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    Amazing sticking-it-to-the-recession!

    Here’s a cut from the album…

  • Second hand bargain: A fancy white shirt

    Not to be confused with an unfancy one…

    white-shirt

    Anyone who has enjoyed the pleasure of a local Job Centre Plus in recent months will have noticed a shift in clientele. Where once you’d find a timid asthmatic sitting next to a man with tattoos on his face, you now have puffy-eyed executives pretending to cheerfully fill in The Times crossword, even though it’s just some paper they dug out from the bin last night as a pillow, and they’re using a shiv for a pen. “What kind of job are you looking for?” asks the kind man from behind the desk. “Company director!” they splutter, falling to the floor, hammering their fists into the carpet. In the background, an asthmatic high fives Mr Tatt-Face man. A beautiful friendship sets sail. These are strange times. Which is why we feel a fresh breeze of joy on our cheeks whenever we hear about lovely bargains. Just two days ago, a certain member of the Interestment family was in a nearby charity shop holding up a white cotton shirt, wondering if the All Saints label made it sexy, or totally rubbish. A well placed fashion friend answered the phone. “Yeah, it’s pretty good, you’d normally expect to pay forty or fifty quid for a shirt.” So guess what? It was three quid!

    Amazing sticking-it-to-the-recession!

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  • Second hand bargain: A Superman Lunch Box

    Every man should have one…

    superman-lunchbox

    Well, it’s official, this recession is here to stay. We know this because we saw a group of tramps furiously debating a cider buying strategy around a makeshift boardroom table in the park. The table was made from an old bit of cardboard, a log, three empty bumper bottles of Euphoric Thunder cooking sherry, and a dead cat. The men were all in Armani suits – ripped Armani suits, with the stains of failed toilet attempts bringing the price down on the trousers. Have these financial wizards even been home since they got the boot? Did they manage to catch the names of their ex-employees in a discarded Sunday Times Rich List? These are sad, drunken times. Which is why we go totally overboard with delight whenever we catch wind of a successful shopping trip. Just this weekend good friend Reg – just about the only successful suit wearer we know – had one heck of a day in a local second hand shop. “I was in a very strange place where they literally sell anything and everything,” he muttered, confused, “when I stumbled across a fantastic lunch box – a Superman one.” How fitting, in this time of financial downturn, to find such a symbol of strength. We approve, Reg. So, come on, how much for this child’s suitcase that you’re going to use ironically? “About seven quid”.

    Fantastic sticking-it-to-the-recession!

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  • Second hand bargain: An excellent sequel

    Don’t go to sleep, kids

    nightmare-on-elm-street-2

    Remember how Friday nights used to be? You’d go straight from work into a waiting cab, head to the airport, then fly all the way to sunny Spain to drink freezing cold brewskis, pile through a few morsels of exotic sausage, then pay an absurd amount of Euros for the company of an intriguing flamenco dancer. All on Uncle Sam’s credit card! Those were, of course, the good days. The days before banks crumbled to rubble under the force of a thousand hippies wielding placards. The days when the Euro was like a gullible friend with a snooker table and a swimming pool in the back garden. Excellent, excellent times. Now Friday nights are confusing, lonely, and sober. Unless, that is, you have an eye for a serious bargain. Just today, brilliant friend Michael rang in with news of a magnificent find. “I bought Nightmare on Elm Street 2 on video,” he wept, overjoyed, “I’m showing it at mine on Friday night if you fancy it – I’m going to make it like a premiere.” Unfortunately we can’t make the big show, we already have plans involving a Turk and some underground watering holes. Else we’d definitely be there. So, come on Mikey, how much for this – the most brilliant of horror sequels? “50p”

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    Excellent sticking-it-to-the-recession!

    Here’s the trailer…

  • Second hand bargain: A nice hat

    Looks brilliant, was quite cheap

    hat

    As ever, in this cold financial winter, we vigourously applaud anyone who can warm the cockles with a bargain. So don’t speed up when you’re passing your local second hand shop, do the opposite – slow down. Even go in, because once inside, you’ll find a world of cheap stuff, some of which is excellent. Great friend of the site, known to us as Bobby, found himself on the right side of a hat-buying super-find. “Normally I wouldn’t trust a second hand hat,” he admitted in a whisper, “but this one was too good to pass up, and I gave it a bit of a scrub.” So, spill the beans, how much? “It was two quid.”

    Excellent sticking-it-to-the-recession!

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  • Second hand bargain: A funny DVD

    All this for sod all

    friends

    In these pre-apocalyptic times, everything seems to be going topsy-turvy. Businessmen have been spotted asking tramps for money, city workers regularly share Pot Noodles for lunch – up to ten men to one Chicken and Mushroom. It’s bananas. We applaud anyone who can sniff out a bargain in this harsh financial winter. So big props to our pal David, who somehow spotted a pile of spare Friends DVDs at his local second hand shop. “There were about five or six series’ or something crazy like that,” he laughed, “and they were about a quid each, so I got the lot for under a tenner.” That’s under ten pounds for the priceless commodity of laughter. “I mean, who doesn’t like Friends, right?”

    Who indeed, David. Ross is particularly excellent. Nice sticking-it-to-the-recession!

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  • Second hand bargain: A tweed jacket

    Make no mistake, this is excellent value

    tweed-jacket

    Next time you’re sprinting past your local second hand charity shop, pull on the breaks, take a breather, and check out the clothes section. Yes, there is the distinct possibility that people died in them, but just think of those stiff, silent corpses as particularly accurate mannequins and everything will be alright. A good friend of ours, tentatively known as Alex, found a fantastic knock down bargain at his local Scope – a nice tweed jacket for a fiver. “I’m quite hard to shop for, because I’m plump but not fat,” he told us. And in his words, the coat itself is an “excellent fit.” Five pounds for a jacket – nice sticking-it-to-the-recession, Alex!

    Let us know about your bargains with a comment below…

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