Tag Archive: Dr Steve Brule

  • Happy Birthday Robin Williams, here’s Steve Brule!

    Brule’s Rules, Boring Ice Cubes

    The comedian/actor Robin Williams is 57 today, so he’ll no doubt be spending the entire evening shouting over the top of his friends in a camp Russian accent, or saying something really arrogant in the deepest voice he can muster to impress some girls on a nearby table. That’s just Williams’ vibe. And, for those wondering, yes, he is our favourite living R. Williams. By quite a long way. Hence, we decided to get him a gift, so we all grew big beards to ensure that critics would take us more seriously as actors, then we sat down to discuss things, making sure that our faces looked warm and friendly, whilst our eyes appeared sad and somehow empty. It wasn’t long before we’d decided to give him either a warm piece of buttered toast, or a clip of the brilliant Dr Steve Brule – played by another funny man/actor, John C Reilly. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Mork from Mork and Mindy!

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  • Happy Birthday Angelina Jolie, here’s more Steve Brule!

    Sweet Berry Wine! Dr. Steve Brule

    Angelina Jolie – the actress who spends long summer evenings dragging her nails down Brad Pitt’s perspiring back – is 34 today. She’s had quite a life. She’s acted in films, got weird tatts done, carried Billy Bob Thornton blood samples around in a carrier bag. She’s strange. So strange that she’s spent literally her entire life puffing her thin lips out to an extreme pout, and has somehow convinced the world that they naturally look like that. Have we got MUG written on our forehead, Angelina? Have we? No we haven’t. No we haven’t. Anyway, regardless of her stupid pretend mouth, we thought we’d get her a gift, so we sat in the corner of an Australian pub while the rugby was on, and decided that we should either get her a sharp pencil to stab rugby players with, or a Steve Brule video, even though we gave Charlie Watts a Steve Brule video earlier in the week. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Angelina!

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  • Happy Birthday Charlie Watts, here’s Steve Brule

    Brule’s Rules, Body Odour

    It’s been quite a week for birthdays in The Rolling Stones – Ronnie Wood spent yesterday evening mixing jelly with ice cream whilst repeatedly thanking the rest of The Stones for his marvelous gifts. While today, his cohort Charlie Watts turns 68. And what a 68 years, most of them spent keeping a straight face during Mick Jagger’s mid-song dance solos, which mainly involve leaping around the stage like a child pretending to be a salmon.  Not once has Watts laughed, not once. Hence we thought we should get him a gift, so we scurried to the top of a tree, to where the monkeys live, and spoke in a rare primate dialect until it boiled down to a toss up between a pretend dog dirt to put on stage to throw Jagger, or a funny clip from a television programme. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Watts!

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  • Happy Birthday Jack Nicholson, here’s a video about fighting!

    Dr Steve Brule, Last Resort Fighting

    Women, understandably, adore Jack Nicholson – even though he’s turning 72 today, which makes him old enough to be your cousin’s mum’s father-in-law. It’s all down to that zany haircut he’s been sporting for years, and that smile he used in The Shining to express his demise into insanity. For some reason, those things combined make even the most demure ladies go all wobbly in the knees. Hence, he’s our hero, so we simply had to buy him a gift. We headed to a local burger joint to eat their two-for-one fish burgers, and discussed things long and hard, before it boiled down to a toss up between a packet of cards with pornographic pictures on them, or a clip about fighting. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Jack!

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  • Happy Birthday Angus Deayton, here’s a funny television report about fruit and veg!

    Dr Steve Brule, Your Green Grocer

    It’s hard to know what to get for someone like Angus Deayton for his 53rd birthday – after all, what could you possibly buy the woman who has everything? It was a toss up between some candles for the bathroom, or a TV report about fruit and veg starring John C Reilly. In the end, we got him both. Happy Birthday Angus!

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