The Interestment 2016 End of Year Barometer – What’s HOT and what’s NOT?

Published: 31st Dec, 2016

Including THESE CHICKS

broad-city

As we all know, it’s massively important each year to trivialise the intricacies of human existence by breaking it down into a list of things you like and things you don’t. So without any further ado, here’s what Interestment made of it all…

Hot

Pork pies with Branston pickle – meat, pastry, vinegariness, explosions, nice, me likey

Prescription sunglasses

Funny conversational podcasts – like the ones by Adam Buxton and Richard Herring, and the porno one. They’re the chat shows of the future, with the future being now, so they’re the chat shows of now, but what will the future hold? This paragraph got confusing

Five Guys Cheeseburgers and Chips and Peanut Butter Milkshakes

Fleabag

Jumbo Cords

Cashmere anything

Jack Handey books – possibly the funniest human being alive, or dead, or both

Loungewear at every possible opportunity – tracksuit bots, cardie, slippers

Nike Air Force Ones that go up to the ankle. Aka, sturdy winter trainers

The Jazz Funk of Donald Byrd (RIP) and Roy Ayers (still going strong). Or if you’re really drunk and looking to take it up a notch, 1970s Miles Davis

Netflix – Stranger Things, The Crown, Last Chance U, Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom. In that order

Chips with gravy, but not chip shop chips, crispy French fries, and gravy made with wine in it – basically the middle class REMAIN version

Donald Glover, James Franco, and other renaissance men I can’t think of who prod at the boundaries but don’t take themselves too seriously

Broad City, Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, and lots of other funny American gals who are being consistently LOLZY

Decaff Diet Coke – for pricks like me who don’t drink caffeine

Craig David for getting another go at being a pop star – the cockle warming story of the year

Goat Butter. GOAT BUTTER – who saw that one coming? The stuff is amazing

Records. We all love records now, partly for hipster reasons about authenticity or some bullshit

Biting into a Terry’s Chocolate Orange like it’s an apple

Not

Donald Trumpington Trumpowitz

Excessive shows of grief on social media – fine occasionally, but if every celebrity death is tearing you apart inside, you might want to speak to someone

Polyester lining

Calling jogging “training”

“Small plates”

The constant reactionary outrage that is defining a generation – it’s making us lipstick lefties look too brittle and unappealing as a club

Sweet potatoes. So sickly, why do people pretend to enjoy these?

Not smiling in photos

Repeatedly losing The National Lottery

Neck tattoos. The thumb ring for the current millennium

The protest vote – especially in a two-horse race, way uncool

Exploiting your staff with your tight-fistedness then being all like “oh wha?? Man, so sorry, I didn’t realise, what the? I mean, GOD, wow, I’m SO SORRY!” with your fingers crossed behind your back

Looking at your phone and ignoring the world

Being sneery online, and in real life, and just to yourself in your own brain

The Premier League

The ongoing business of humblebragging. We can’t believe you were nominated for an award either

Hamstrung writing because the advertisers are winning

The ongoing genocide of magazines and newspapers (which may have something to do with the above point that I just mentioned)

Mushrooms

Craft beer – too strong, tastes like washing up liquid, what’s wrong with a pint of Amstel?

 

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *