Over 50 ways to be cool

Published: 7th Apr, 2016

Swap some gum, cool idea

Gum

Being cool isn’t as easy as it sounds, but thanks to this excellent list, you’ll never look frightened and unsure again – in any given situation, just do one of these things:

Do a complex handshake that’s at an angle

Do a fist bump then mime a little explosion

Start backcombing your hair with a plastic comb

Check yourself out in a wing mirror then click your fingers

Nudge your pals and mime the hourglass shape of a lady

Wear a crazy ramshackle necklace, like Rosary beads

Wear a big ring with a sapphire in it

Get an ear pierced

Pop some shades on

Lean up against a wall having a smoke

Lean up against a wall having a milkshake

Lean up against a wall eating a banana

Tell everyone you’ve got a hangover

Say “hey kid, get me an aspirin”

Do a little laugh then look away

Tell some guys you had a ton of sex last night 

Say you had a little bit the night before too

Suggest you might even have sex later

Wink at some chicks

Click your fingers and say “let’s roll” to your friends

Have some shades on top of your head

Have some shades sticking out of your pocket

Say “cool shades” sarcastically to humiliate another person

Have a baseball cap on backwards

Have a baseball cap on normally, but as a joke

Show up in a leather jacket

Play with a yo yo

Take the leather jacket off and drape it over your shoulder

Chew a toothpick

Always have a bottle of beer in your hand

Shout “LOOKING GOOD!” at strangers

Chew on root liquorice or a little cigar

Suck a lollypop

Eat some peanuts by throwing them in the air then catching them in your mouth

Suddenly do a somersault

Swipe the underside of your chin with the back of your hand

Just hang out

Put ninety quid in a jukebox

Tear your gum in half and offer it around

Throw a cigarette up so it lands in your mouth

Do that trick where a match gets an erection

Light a match on your face

Do a thumbs up

Do a Gimme Five

Carry one of those bowling ball bags

Have a newspaper in your back pocket

Have a dirty magazine in your back pocket

Shoot finger pistols at passers-by

Make decisions doing “heads or tails?”

Nudge all your mates and mime “ay caramba” about a hot gal

Lift up your shirt to show everyone a gun

Say “hey back off chump” to some guy

Say “I’m out of here” when you’ve finished speaking

Kiss your teeth if ever you see the cops

Wear a sleeveless t-shirt

Roll your t-shirt sleeves up

Chuck some money at a shopkeeper and say “keep the change”

Yawn during a meeting and check your watch

Put your feet up on the desk

Wander around eating a nectarine

Shine an apple and chuck it at someone

Turn your chair around and straddle it

Sit on the corner of someone’s desk (optional: then stroke their face)

Chew bubble gum and blow a bubble

Always be snogging someone

Turn your collars up

Wear a cut off denim jacket

 

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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