Over 50 ways to be cool
Swap some gum, cool idea
Being cool isn’t as easy as it sounds, but thanks to this excellent list, you’ll never look frightened and unsure again – in any given situation, just do one of these things:
Do a complex handshake that’s at an angle
Do a fist bump then mime a little explosion
Start backcombing your hair with a plastic comb
Check yourself out in a wing mirror then click your fingers
Nudge your pals and mime the hourglass shape of a lady
Wear a crazy ramshackle necklace, like Rosary beads
Wear a big ring with a sapphire in it
Get an ear pierced
Pop some shades on
Lean up against a wall having a smoke
Lean up against a wall having a milkshake
Lean up against a wall eating a banana
Tell everyone you’ve got a hangover
Say “hey kid, get me an aspirin”
Do a little laugh then look away
Tell some guys you had a ton of sex last night
Say you had a little bit the night before too
Suggest you might even have sex later
Wink at some chicks
Click your fingers and say “let’s roll” to your friends
Have some shades on top of your head
Have some shades sticking out of your pocket
Say “cool shades” sarcastically to humiliate another person
Have a baseball cap on backwards
Have a baseball cap on normally, but as a joke
Show up in a leather jacket
Play with a yo yo
Take the leather jacket off and drape it over your shoulder
Chew a toothpick
Always have a bottle of beer in your hand
Shout “LOOKING GOOD!” at strangers
Chew on root liquorice or a little cigar
Suck a lollypop
Eat some peanuts by throwing them in the air then catching them in your mouth
Suddenly do a somersault
Swipe the underside of your chin with the back of your hand
Just hang out
Put ninety quid in a jukebox
Tear your gum in half and offer it around
Throw a cigarette up so it lands in your mouth
Do that trick where a match gets an erection
Light a match on your face
Do a thumbs up
Do a Gimme Five
Carry one of those bowling ball bags
Have a newspaper in your back pocket
Have a dirty magazine in your back pocket
Shoot finger pistols at passers-by
Make decisions doing “heads or tails?”
Nudge all your mates and mime “ay caramba” about a hot gal
Lift up your shirt to show everyone a gun
Say “hey back off chump” to some guy
Say “I’m out of here” when you’ve finished speaking
Kiss your teeth if ever you see the cops
Wear a sleeveless t-shirt
Roll your t-shirt sleeves up
Chuck some money at a shopkeeper and say “keep the change”
Yawn during a meeting and check your watch
Put your feet up on the desk
Wander around eating a nectarine
Shine an apple and chuck it at someone
Turn your chair around and straddle it
Sit on the corner of someone’s desk (optional: then stroke their face)
Chew bubble gum and blow a bubble
Always be snogging someone
Turn your collars up
Wear a cut off denim jacket