Look at them, all Beatley, like they’re in The Beatles
I’m a Beatles fan, but not the biggest Beatles fan in the world, and I’m married to a woman who can’t see what the fuss is about at all. She doesn’t get it, she doesn’t think they’re all that and a bag of crisps like most people do. At this point my signature move is to put my trousers on, do a little sigh-chuckle then a throat-clear to signify that a patronising music lecture is in the offing, and I go on to suggest that without them music wouldn’t be what it is now and that they basically invented rock bands and haircuts and stuff like that, and then she points out that someone else would have come along and done exactly the same thing, and I realise that she’s absolutely right. Chuck Berry was already there, Elvis had created hairstyles for men, The Beatles, you might argue, just invested in surfboards as the right waves were coming. There are numerous bands I much prefer – The Byrds, The Rolling Stones, The Faces, MC5 and The Stooges, even The Monkees. But I could never concede that The Beatles aren’t responsible for much of the state of modern music, and as a direct consequence of them middle aged men still insist on wearing their hair like 1965 Paul McCartney. On balance, I’m really glad that they happened, and as such I’m now about to list their top ten albums from the best to the tenth best. Feel free to tell me this is all bullshit in the comments section…
The first Beatles album I loved, for me this will always be their grooviest record – it marks a turning point for the group, as if they’ve just grown a load of pubes or something.
John Lennon was probably my least favourite Beatle behind Paul, George, Zayn, Ringo, Gringo, Bingo, Dumbo and Tobin, and this record is like a Harrison (Taxman, Love You To)/McCartney (For No One, Here There and Everywhere, Eleanor Rigby) tour de force bike ride.
Oh this is FUN, the picture on the front features them doing a playful take on semaphore and the album only goes on for about half an hour – perfect if you’re chucking together a very simple Jamie Oliver chilli con carne.
The iconic cover finds a man’s need for shoes inversely proportional to the length of his beard, as Paul, clearly on acid, goes barefoot across the road. Contains Here Comes The Sun.
A Hard Day’s Night
I’m a huge fan of The Monkees and their TV show wouldn’t have happened without this. Plus the track If I Fell is pretty lovely.
The White Album
Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
It’s a CONCEPT ALBUM but I can’t figure out what the concept is, that’s my beef. Is it that they’re pretending to be another band playing some songs? Or am I missing something?
With The Beatles
The front cover might look like an intimidating lesbian-only poetry class being held in East London, but actually it’s THE BEATLES.
Let It Be
By this point Yoko Oh NO! was rumoured to be sitting silently in the studio doing throat-slitting mimes at people whenever John wasn’t looking. It shows unfortunately. Except for here.
Please Please Me
Picture the scene, it was 1963, the very middle of World War II and then along come these trendy hippies to rabbit punch Hitler’s dick. I have no idea where this is going…