Good old STING
It’s a strange time for the planet, what with economies imploding, kids with knives, and everyone generally pointing missiles at one another. So thank goodness for Sting. One of the good guys. He rebuilds forests, he makes sex with his woman for weeks at a time, and every morning he heads to the hills to practice shadow kung fu. Next time you’re hating on yourself for being a dreadful individual ask yourself this: what would Sting do? Which leads seamlessly to our four favourite Sting moments…
1. Sting’s incredible ‘tache
He’s been around for so long that it’s almost impossible to remember what makes Sting so appealing to women. Is it the veiny muscular body that is one part press-ups and nine-parts yoga? Is it his feathery blonde hair? Actually it’s neither of those things. It’s the bold fashion statements he makes, like the time up in a television studio with a moustache that told convention to go fuck itself.
2. Sting can move
So it goes, you should dance like no one is watching. In other words, you should dance like Sting in Quadrophenia. His jerky movements were the musical interpretations of a man absolutely in the zone.
3. Sting pops his top off
For a while, Sting couldn’t mount a stage without peeling off his clothes the minute music started playing. Probably a pavlovian response picked up from his years practicing tantric intercourse sound-tracked by his own music. Observe.
4. Sting sings with Bryan Adams and Rod Stewart
Ever wondered what crippling throat diseases might sound like in song form? You’re in luck. The day Bryan Adams and Rod Stewart joined Sting to sing All For One, soft rock planets collided, and everyone listening punched their radios shouting “someone cough dammit!”