Including this rather pretty actress
Back in the heady days of November 2009, it was put to the various Interestment contributors to throw together a small list of things that have really made the last decade excellent for them. These “things” could be anything at all – things to put in your mouth, things to look at, things to listen to, things to make you really want to high five other people about because they’re so bloody brilliant. The list that came back was enormous, hence after much whittling down, it’s been compacted into a Top 100 – in no particular order. Here’s numbers 61-80, to sit prettily alongside 1-20, 21-40, and 41-60…
61. Judd Apatow
Not really the new Woody Allen, Apatow isn’t quite cerebral enough, but he has dipped his finger into many pies over the years. First he played his part in The Larry Sanders Show, then he finished the last millennium with a flourish when he created the brilliant Freaks and Geeks (above). And now he’s introduced the world to the concept of “bromance”. For that, we doff a cap.
62. Ana Ivanovic
Since winning the French Open a while ago, Ana has managed pretty much sod all. Still, no matter, because Ana has been blessed with legs even longer than ostrich trousers, and when she’s not patting a ball back and forth to another woman, she likes to do brainy things – like read books. What a gal.
63. The OC
Closely run by the new version of 90210, The OC had it all – a rough kid attempting to mix with posh teenagers despite his streetwise fighting urges constantly gnawing on his mind, a geeky nerdoid attempting to finger a princess, sexy mothers, drug problems, startlingly liberal parents, schoolboys arranging cocktail parties. Television at its best.
64. American Apparel
The brand with filthy and slightly porny advertising, a rather grabby Chief Exec, and the best place in the world to buy t-shirts, hotpants, leggings, knickers, and socks of every colour under the sun. This brand got boys back into red y-fronts, and girls into looking just the right side of slutty chav. Long may it continue…
65. The iPod
Here in the vast Interestment offices, the emergence of the iPod really splits the consensus. On the one hand, it’s great to have so much wonderful music just a few clicks away. On the other, it means no more glorious hours rooting around stacks of vinyl in po-faced record shops, and – even worse – these things have rendered magnificent record collections almost completely pointless. We say almost, because at least 25 per cent of the Interestment Family still only operates in vinyl. We’re old fashioned like that.
Geeks – aka Nerds, or Geekatrons, or Brainiacs – used to be the eternal virgins getting sand kicked in their faces, and punches delivered to their cocks by chest-thumping beefcakes. Not any more. These days, they tend to be the guys buying the rounds, making tongue sandwiches with all of the hottest girls, and wearing a pair of glasses not because they want to appear clever, but because they are clever. Jesus, they have indeed inherited the earth. You were right.
67. Anthony Bourdain
Seriously, you can stick your Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver, because there isn’t a celebrity chef on the planet quite as tremendously cool as Anthony Bourdain. He writes excellent books about kitchen life, he throws together lovely dinners, he struts around former war zones in a Ramones t-shirt, never without a cigarette, demanding that the locals surprise him with delicacies – most of which are rather penis-looking items. So yeah, and he probably eats penises too.
68. Charlie Brooker
If you hate something so hard that words elude you, let Brooker – vitriolic Guardian columnist – say it really really cleverly for you. His forte is social commentary via a masterful balance of cynicism, mockery and keenness, whipping up exactly the sort of damning put down you wish you’d created yourself. Also manages to get away with the sort of language manipulation that any lesser wordsmith would be tossed out of class for being a smart arse over. Makes broadsheets not boring.
69. Arrested Development
While Seinfeld managed to last for around ten years, this only scraped two and a half. Critics loved it, but it was never popular enough with the viewers. Which is a massive shame. Still, on the upside, it has left behind three excellent seasons, as well as introducing the world to some of the funniest actors around (above). We find it so hard to name our favourite character that we now totally get why Meryl Streep was so bloody upset in Sophie’s Choice.
70. The White Stripes
Emerged as part of the garage rock legions but immediately marked themselves out as staying for the duration via eccentric combo of co-ordinating outfits, trimmed-back experimentalism and questionable love relationship to one another. The jury’s still out as to whether Meg’s drumming is refreshingly minimalist or just sounds like a one-man-band walking from one side of the room to the other but what is a consistent is that they are forever eccentric in a fabulously noisy way.
71. Roger Federer
By the year 2000, Roger Federer had yet to progress past the First Round of a Grand Slam. Even in 2001, his breakthrough year at SW19 (when he knocked out Pete Sampras,) he then had to cope with losing to Tim Henman in the next round. Yet fifteen Grand Slams later, it looks like he’s managed to handle that particular shame. Federer is the sportsman of the decade, and will be the man you tell your grandchildren you were lucky enough to watch.
72. The George Foreman Grill
The two time World Heavyweight Champion was a good boxer, but even better at marketing a slanted indoor grilling machine. So much so that over 80 million have been sold so far making him an estimated $150 million. A lot more than he ever made punching people repeatedly in the face until they passed out. He’s also very good at making children and has ten of the things. Each of his five sons are named George: George Jr., George III, George IV, George V and George VI. That is a shitload of Georges.
73. There Will Be Blood
There have been rather too few notable performances from actors in the last ten years, but Daniel Day Lewis can lay claim to at least two of them. He was petrifying and amazing in Gangs of New York, and then he went one better in There Will Be Blood, producing not just the single best performance of the decade, but probably one of the best ever. He’s a startlingly good actor, that Daniel Day Lewis.
74. Lemon Fanta
When you’re really sweaty, and your mouth is drier than a sandpaper cocktail consumed through a vacuum cleaner, no other drink can precisely navigate to the high point of your thirst more excellently than this, Lemon Fanta. It’s like Fanta – only, like, really citric and shit – and drunk from an icy glass on a sweltering summer afternoon, this is as close to the flowing beaches of Heaven as you will ever know. On the downside, it doesn’t suit any other season.
75. X Factor
The long tanned legs, the fashion, the glamour, the back-combing, the lights, Dermott, Cheryl’s dimples, Louis’ grey hair and…what’s missing? Nope. I can’t think of anything else. That must be it.
True: the planes have less leg-room than a coffin and people have been known to die of old age in the queues. BUT in Stelios’ defence, people have also forgotten that once upon a time you would have to mortgage your granny to get to the States or waste quality hours sitting opposite a boring person called Peter on a train if you wanted to explore Europe. Remembering that you get what you pay for– namely: being able to bugger off on holiday for less than the cost of three paperback books – is the key to really seeing the revolution that EasyJet was.
77. Scarlett Johansson
She isn’t the best actress in the world, and aside from Ghost World, she hasn’t starred in any particularly good films. Lost in Translation is another subject of great debate in the Interestment building, with some declaring it one of the finest movies of the last ten years, whilst others find it sticking rather in their craw, calling it things like “pretentious” and “a bit boring”. Someone even deemed it a little bit racist in regards to our Japanese brothers and sisters. Either way, Johansson is just a couple of decent decisions away from becoming an icon. She’s certainly got the looks bit in the bag.
78. Daniel Craig
Had always hovered at the peripheries of A-listdom which – fortunately – not only made him the perfect Bond choice but also made him a ‘well-known-unknown’ face that we didn’t all get sick of the sight of in six months (like Keira Knightly). Also responsible for dragging the Bond franchise away from ‘Camp Brit Smoothie’ by re-spinning the characteristic English lack of emotion into ‘Sexy Ultra-Bastard‘. Plus, he boosted sales of swimming trunks via a scene so hot it had even staunch heteros rethinking the vagina thing.
79. The Coral
Rock folk-skiffley oddness from the Wirral won everyone over by unself-consciously sounding like British eclectic eccentricity and not sounding like anyone else. An accordion here, a ghostly wee-oooh organ riff effect there – they were never predictable (even in the space of one song.) Unlike so many new bands they weren’t trying to fit in but certainly managed to release crowd pleasing style like Pass It On – even then without compromising. Excellent.
80. Gay Weddings
We have long been fans of our homosexual brothers and sisters, so were delighted to find them allowed to marry one another and declare their beautiful gayness to the world without pesky lawmakers buggering the whole thing up. A wonderful, historic, and significant step forward for humanity. At the last count, between them, the Interestment Family has enjoyed around four gay weddings, and counting…