Already crowned our fourth favourite pie

Winter is a cruel mistress. Not only does the weather plummet to unmanageable depths, ruining sultry wardrobe selections by forcing you to accessorise everything with an enormous balaclava, but the cold spindly fingers of Jack Frost will absolutely butcher your skin too. It’s a sad period, and a million miles away from those topless afternoons in a local park, playing frisbee with your pals, desperately sucking your grotesque stomach in, so that people might find you remotely attractive. Beautiful times. It’s not all bad though, because while the chill winds and unfathomably dark afternoons might stop you from leaving the house, they also provide the opportunity to enjoy some exceptionally hearty Winter fare. Hence, we’ve thrown open the Interestment Cook Book, and come up with feasts so simple to cook, that even a one-legged madman could spend an evening calmly assembling them. Today, Fish Pie…

You will need…

1. Some white fish

2. Some smoked haddock

3. Milk

4. Flour

5. Butter

6. One onion

7. Cloves

8. A bay leaf or two

9. Nutmeg

10. Parsley

11. Eggs

12. Potatoes

13. Cheese

14. Salt and pepsie

Now, simply poach your fish in milk for about for about ten minutes, with a bay leaf, salt and pep, and a quartered onion studded with cloves, then remove the fish, but KEEP THE MILK. Make a roux, using flour and butter, then by adding the fish milk (whilst whisking furiously). Hard boil some eggs, then peel, add them to the now-flaked fish, along with a handful of parsley, a small grating of nutmeg, and the wonderful roux. Pop it all into the oven for a bit, whilst you do your mash. Once that’s done, simply smear it over the fish mixture, grate some cheese on top, and pop it all into the oven again, for about half an hour on 200 degrees C. Bosh. Fish Pie.