Draw the short Beatles straw…
If you could possibly have squeezed a word of sense from the swarms of squealing maniacs chasing The Beatles down the street in 1964, they’d have told you – probably whilst hyperventilating – that they wanted to marry Paul, or snog John, or take George home for tea. Only the wheezing cock-eyed girl at the back of the screaming parade, limping along with her peg leg, would place Ringo at number one. That’s because she knew her place in the scheme of things. Paul got the hot girls, John got the arty girls, George got the sweet girls, then Ringo got the freaks. The also-rans. He was the fourth best looking Beatle. And yet, after years of steamrollering the dregs of the groupies, Ringo had the last laugh – he charmed, then married, Barbara Bach – by far the sexiest of the Beatles wives. What a gal she was, with hair as brown as a mouse’s dressing gown, and a prime role in the greatest Bond film of them all – A Spy Who Loved Me. She has since gone on to take it all off for Playboy, then make up for that by doing “charity work”.
Of course, there shall be no Barbara Bach hotness for the guys, without a little sweet spattering of something-something for the girls. Below is Tom Selleck.