Not including hats for cats…
There’s a statistic that says you lose something like 90 per cent of your body heat through your head. Or 100 per cent if you happen to be bald. Hence, the minute Jack Frost awakes from his long slumber, and begins dancing through the streets spraying ice from his long, spindly fingers, cackling like a great big frosty toddler, we like to wear hats. In fact, scrap that, because we like to wear hats all year round. Interestment is a hat-wearing kind of place. We also like unironic beards, the music that our dads listened to growing up, and the smell of rolled up cigarettes. We’re traditional like that. No sir, this isn’t one of those zany hipster offices with twisted denim, and house music. Think of us as a nice pair of corduroy trousers. Corduroy trousers with a beard. Anyway, that’s all beside the point – here are the greatest Autumn/Winter hats, as voted for by us…
1. Battered Leather Pork Pie
By far and away our number one hat, we love a nice Pork Pie. It’s slightly less showy than a fedora, or a trilby, meaning that it can compliment almost any outfit. Plus, worn correctly, it gives you the air of a wise guy with street smarts. Ideally, this should be worn by men who list Serpico or The French Connection in their top ten films of all time, and magnificent ones can be bought from a lady named Jill Corbett – she’s our favourite hat maker.
2. Tweed Flat Cap
A little more traditional, flat caps have been on the receiving end of a lot of sneering over the last couple of years. This might be thanks to the hoards of idiots who once adopted them to keep their heads warm as they ironically BMX‘d to work, but still, we’re big fans. The trick here is to have a rather unruly amount of hair spilling from the sides and back, giving you the look a genius synthesizer player in a late-1970s funk band.
3. Suede Pork Pie
Again, we thought we’d go for the Pork Pie option – this time, a rather more swanky one, regardless that it could prove a bit impractical should the thunder clouds part, gushing cold rain all over your delicate suede number. Perfectly suited to walks across crackling leaves, whilst wearing some kind of overcoat/scarf combo. You can visit Jill Corbett for this one too.
4. Knitted Woolly Hat
The most popular of the Winter hats, chances are that most people will go woolly. And why not? These things are warm, fun to look at, and if needs be, you can fold it up, and deftly pop it into your pocket. They’re versatile. Ideally, we’d go for something snug and homemade, perhaps in a cheerful yellow colour (see above). This keeps out the likes of baseball caps, and those ridiculous peruvian things that dope smokers like to wear when they’re juggling at a rave.