London Fancy Dress Week: What we learnt…

Published: 24th Sep, 2009

These guys had a great time…

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It’s always a joy to hear from a new member of the Interestment family, and today it’s the turn of Lora – a fashion expert with a sharp wit. Fancy Dress Week over, what have we learnt? She had this to say…

1. No show will start until some time between 30 to 32 seconds after Suzy Menkes has sat down.  She is Britains answer to Anna Wintour except she looks like she is dressed head to toe in BHS.

2. Three quarters of the front row are staff of the brand put there to fill in numbers.

3. Models will constantly try to steal clothes by just walking out into the street in their catwalk clobber, and they’ll usually get away with it, as everyone is so crazzzed after the show that nobody notices.  Although it’s not so inconspicuous when you are trapped in a birdcage with two wheel barrows for shoes, trying to get the 38 bus back home to London Fields.

4. Some gorgeous male model will always whip out a guitar to have a jam backstage….why did he have to do that ? You were considering sleeping with him (because I’m the boss, I can do that) until he started his acoustic rendition of Purple Haze.  He should have continued pretending to look interesting by reading that Bukowski book upside down.

5. Female models will eat cake, oh boy will they eat…all of it, oh yeah, pasta, the lot, they are just so normal, they do it ALL the time, that’s another fashion FACT.

And here’s a couple of things we picked up on along the way…

6. Pretty soon, we’ll all be wearing hats and hot pants, regardless of weather conditions.

7. If you really want to know what’s hip, just follow the lead of the blonde one from Girls Aloud – start by peroxiding your hair, then down eight pints of Strongbow. That should do it.

8. The Geldof brothers are also worth a butchers if it’s style tips you’re after.

9. It’s really not okay to be fat. Although it is. But seriously, it’s not. Just try not to be fat. That’s all we’re saying. But if you are, don’t worry. You’re still beautiful. You just need to make yourself thinner. So, that’s fat and proud, yeah?

But get thinner.

And 10. If you’re doing the uppy-downy walk thing on the runway, don’t smile. For Christ’s sake, don’t smile. It’s not funny. You’re not there to have fun. This is serious business. It’s Fancy Dress Week, damn it!

Until the next one…

Josh Burt
About the author:

Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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