Not including this mystery celeb…
Tattoos, everyone has them these days. Anyone who saw this year’s stellar series of Big Brother might have noticed that something like 90 per cent of the house was tatted up. Hence, to celebrate this, we thought we’d have a look at some famous people with scrawlings deep within their taut, hungry flesh. Today it’s the turn of the girls.
Chances are that back in the 1950s, you’d be unlikely to see Monroe striding around Hollywood with one sleeve hoiked up showing off Popeye anchor, and yet, demure favourite Megan Fox has Marilyn’s face forever branded on her skinny forearm. It’s an interesting look, as is the “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies” quote on her upper back/lower shoulder. It’s from King Lear no less, which is presumably Fox’s dream role.
With everyday life now so frenzied and hectic, it’s near impossible to find a small pocket of the day when you can honestly relax, and NOT hysterically run around in search of food, or bust someone’s balls in a meeting. Hence, the actress Scarlett Johansson has taken the bull by the horns and etched a beautiful sunrise onto the underside of her forearm to help her chillax. “It makes me happy,” says the actress. Hear that, everyone? It makes her happy.
She’s had much to endure in her time, that Cheryl Cole – the moist darting hands of ex-husband Ashley Cole still ghosting around her body in her dreams, a crippling schedule with her rock band, Girls Aloud. Not to mention the rather flushed remorse of having to reveal a massive rose bush tattoo on her thigh every time she slides into a designer bikini. She also has one on her hand, something on the back of her neck, the whole lower back thing, and a peculiar ink blemish on her expensive bottom.
Were this the old days, and Amy Winehouse’s bloodied arms were to wash up onto a beach, everyone would assume that they belonged to a starving sailor, making a swim for it from a desert island. And yet, no. The arms – which are heaving with cartoon centrefolds and a lucky horse shoe – belong to a singing millionaire, and, like so many tatt enthusiasts, she’s even got a pocket with Blake Fielder-Civil’s name on it above her breast implants.
For those not familiar with her work, Asia is an Italian actress, known for her turn in the terrifying horror film, Land of The Dead. She’s also mad about tattoos. Her most famous one is a massive angel emerging from the top of her underpants – a sight which has no doubt been rather dicombobulating for previous boyfriends attempting to seduce her. Should things progress, they might also be shocked to find that she has a couple of pretend snakes dicking around on her bottom.
Jessica Biel – the lucky recipient of Justin Timberlake’s delicate glossy, wolf-like tongue – is what is known in the body art industry as an “unsure tattoo recipient” (or UTR). Only the most eagle-eyed passer-by would spot that this toned young actress has taken an ink-job. She’s got a tiny little dove fluttering around mere millimetres above her trouser-line. Such a piece probably took an experienced tatt artist around nine seconds, followed by exactly two minutes healing time.
Look at Peaches Geldof. Go on – really look at her. Keep looking. That’s what she wants you to do. She wants you to look and look, and then look some more. Are you still looking? Good. Did you notice her tattoo? The massive one that spans her lower leg to upper-torso? The one of the flowers? Of course you did. That’s because the professional magazine editor, Peaches Geldof, doesn’t do anything by halves. She even has a cluster of smaller tattsies peppered about her body. True story.
You know how when you’re on the phone you might doodle a few pictures on a nearby envelope – perhaps a spider’s web or a cube within another cube? Well, Angelina Jolie does that with her actual body. The white hot Hollywood actress has swarms of doodles buzzing around all over her, including roman numerals, bits of latin, Buddhist Sanskrit, some arabic, a couple of Welsh towns, a few chapters from Harry Potter, and a picture of Winnie the Pooh falling down her back. Granted, some of those were made up.
If you can’t really be bothered to bend your head around to an uncomfortable angle, allow us to save you time and tell you that the lady sunning herself in this picture is Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives – so sultry and demure in the show, tatted up to the hilt in real life. For a start, she has a big celtic cross residing around the lower area of her back. Plus she has a secret one with her husbands initials on it. “I’m not saying where it is, but let’s just say he gets to view it on a very regular basis!” she teased a curious journalist. So, yeah, she has a tattoo on her vagina as well.
Like Jessica Biel, Charlize Theron doesn’t believe in thrusting her tatts into your face – she likes them subtle. Almost non-existent, impossible to see. Like they’re not even there. Hence, it might strain your eyes somewhat to notice, but she has a dinky little flower on her foot. Can you see it? It’s the smudgy thing that looks like a blue/green birthmark. Yeah, that’s it. Nice, right?