Charlie Sheen – the third best actor in the family – is 44 today, so will probably spend the evening throwing back shots of Jack, and ordering strippers to kiss one another because it’s his birthday. It’s just the Sheen way. He’s always been like that. Even so, we thought we’d buy him a gift, so we huddled behind a bush discussing present option in a pretend language that we like to call Spanglish, or Franglais, until it boiled down to a toss up between a hat or a 20-minute clip of some great looking movies that are all better than anything Sheen has done since Wall Street and Platoon. In the end we got him both. Happy Birthday Charlie Sheen!