Back to Bohemia with you…
Just in time for V and Reading, Bea should be back on the festival circuit by this time tomorrow. So if you’re going, the great news is that both Oasis and McFly are playing. The bad news is that in amongst the city boys juggling fire, and the thin-lipped HR workers getting spliffed out of their minds, there will be a very anxious blonde woman spreading herself thinly about the campsite, repeatedly becoming “genuinely upset”, totally killing the vibe. A hippy, she is not. And her lasting impression on the house hasn’t been great. She blew Freddie’s mind in a bad way, she totally trampled on David’s heart (his words), and in a worryingly desperate moment of panic, she offered Marcus oral sex in return for beer. He refused. The man who pleaded with Noirin for a bosom glance in exchange for cider refused actual sexual contact for beer. It was a very low moment for the downtrodden bohemian. Tonight, she’s toast. Expect to see an expression of total bafflement as a sea of rotten cabbages hurtle towards her face. Metaphorically speaking.
In other exciting news, Marcus’ real life mummy looks incapable of siring such a hairy sweary beast. David is rarely “not bothered” regardless of what he says, and Sophie has been left in a state of shock after reading that she might be pregs.
Siavash to win!