Happy Birthday Charlize Theron, here’s a Slap Chop!

Published: 7th Aug, 2009

Slap Chop Rap

If you don’t know who Charlize Theron is, you can count yourself very unlucky. She’s a beautiful woman. So beautiful that she once confidentally strode around naked in a perfume advert to a Marvin Gaye backing track. So beautiful that her face is really pretty. So beautiful that she had to make herself look hideously ugly by wearing a Freddy Krueger mask and adopting a Deep South drawl to win a beloved Oscar. So beautiful that we thought we’d get her a gift, so we all headed to the local swimming baths to squeeze in a few laps and talk business, before it boiled down to a toss up between some mirrored goggles, or a funny clip discovered by friend of the site Spencer. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Charlize Theron!

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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