Big Brother 10: Bea is for Bitch, and SURPRISE!

Published: 30th Jul, 2009

Not really a hippy


Right, let’s get the surprise out of the way. Noirin‘s ex-boyfriend has turned up in the house, as Big Brother takes a sick opportunity to smear a massive handful of egg into Siavash’s spectacular beard. Of course, being the sweet natured girl next door that she is, Noirin has immediately disassociated herself from the magnificent Iranian, and will now see out her time on the show attempting to swell her ex boyfriend’s underpants, as Siavash watches on, broken, tired. On the plus side, the bookies seem relatively certain that the Irish trouser tease will be at home in sunny Dublin by early next week.

Elsewhere in the house, Bea is proving to be the worst hippy of all time. In fact, it’s lucky she wasn’t around in 1967, else it would have to be rechristened the Summer of Stress. She’s taken to sneering about Freddie behind his back, tattling on tea thieves, and throwing her couple of pence in on pretty much anything. The turnaround has been magnificently swift, as she morphed from butterfly to crow in just over a week. Freddie, meanwhile, has been overheard explaining that he likes to train his lovers, which conjures up extremely uncomfortable images, which sit somewhere in the same vicinity as watching Stephen Hawking pleasuring himself.

Marcus now only speaks with his eyes closed, his toughness has also completely expired due to his habit of carrying a duvet around with him like Linus in Peanuts. Hira‘s exercise routines are very 1980s, and David the gay man from Yorkshire seems like he might be a little bit brain damaged.

Siavash, as ever, is our number one.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

2 Responses to Big Brother 10: Bea is for Bitch, and SURPRISE!

  1. Avatar Sarah Field says:

    I would love for Siavash Dogface or Charlie to win, and i hope and wish lisa stays in longer than bea and halfwit bcoz their meant to be free loving hippees and all there do is shit stir and bacik stab. x

  2. Avatar andrea green says:

    Bea, what a bitch. She is nothing more than a pretencious little social climber. Bea obviously knew of freddies popularity before entering the bb house and like a stick insect, she stuck to him to gain popularity and other housemates trust. This week she saught out a reason to rid herself of freddie, this was the breaking the rules and bb removing housemates food. Bea did this as she now believes she is the queen bee and she has no further use for freddie. She slyly and uncleverly went on a shit stirring frenzy, thus causing basicaly a low level war between most housemates, steering any suspicion from herself toward other housemates and this is when she took her opportunity to sneak under the radar and avoided being targeted for nominations. Im deeply suprised the housmates have not yet sussed her obvious game playing out. Having a game plan is fine, but bea is the only housemate i have witnesed executing this with such cruel and very personal undignifying attacks on unsuspecting housmates, you dont need to degrade others, thats sad. Bea is a manipulative judgmental selfish hypocrit and has more faces than big ben. Bea is a devious little pretender who belives herself to be perfect, far from it honey. She also belives herself to be intelectually and mentaly superior to all housemates. Knowing the odd half intelligable word and speaking well does not make one intelligent. I feel she is stupid and ridiculous, her IQ would probably be in the two digit range. I couldnt think as slow as her if i tried. Silly Bea. Your not as smart as you think you are.

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