Happy Birthday Jessica Simpson, here’s some karate kicks!

Published: 10th Jul, 2009

20 Best Karate Kicks

Jessica Simpson, the brainy stateside mathematician, is turning 28 today. And what a 28 years she’s had. She’s solved problems, come up with solutions for global dilemmas, and made people weep just by saying moving things at the exact right moment. She’s also churned out numerous pop records, none of which we know the names of, and married and divorced someone – again we have no idea what his name might be. If we’re being totally honest, we’re not entirely sure who Jessica Simpson is. Is she Britney Spears? No? Okay, no matter, we thought we’d buy her a gift nonetheless, so we all put on bikinis, and sat by a pool smearing lotion deep into our hungry thighs, before it boiled down to a toss up between some great big sunglasses, or a bunch of sexy karate kicks. In the end we got her both. Happy Birthday Jessica!

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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