Weirdly, no room for the Zig…
Regardless of what people seem to be saying, this year’s Big Brother is looking like one of the best yet. You’ve got the Sree and Marcus axis of bizarre rivalry, signaling the first time ever that an Indian boy has gone toe-to-toe with a mulleted man for a woman’s affections outside of an internet gaming chatroom. Then there’s the greatest Scottish accent of all time, the magnificent Siavash, and, of course, there’s curly Kris – this year’s Big Brother hunk. We’ve already studied at length the finest house beauties from over the years, so today we thought it high time to look at the boys. Thankfully friend of the site Larry – a lovely gentleman with an eye for other lovely gentlemen – was on hand to talk us through the best four yet…
1. Kris Donnelly, Big Brother 10
Kris is the cool guy of the house, with his skinny jeans, his curly hair, his my-first-beard – he likes to spend his time oscillating between dance routines with Mr Newcastle, and soft tender kisses with Thunder Tits. “With his model looks, surfer curls and puppy dog eyes Kris takes the top spot by a mile,” insists Larry, cheerfully drinking an orange juice, “he knows how to flirt with both sexes and would be fun piece of arm candy on a night out!” He’s a hot one alright.
2. Stuart Pilkington, Big Brother 9
“Any lad who can make eyeliner look sexy is a winner in my book,” says Larry, referring to the Statue of David that entered the house last year, and immediately removed his top for the next ten weeks. “He’s probably got the best body out of all ten series.”
3. Tom McDermott, Big Brother 1
Most of us will remember Tom as the timid Irish guy who managed a full erection during an innocent afternoon back rub. He also played a very small part in the outing of Nasty Nick, in that he silently nodded his head a few times while the others got stuck in. “Tom was a rugged lad who oozed sexiness in series one without even trying,” enthuses Larry, now getting stuck into a beer, “there hasn’t really been anyone since to rival him in the sexy Irish bit of rough stakes.” What, not even Spiral?
4. Liam McGough, Big Brother 8
For those of you who missed Big Brother 8 for any reason, the winner was the excellent Brian Belo, now of Harry Hill fame. It also spawned the celebrities Twin One and Twin Two, whilst simultaneously floating Larry‘s onions with the arrival of Liam, the cheerful tree surgeon. “Ahh, he was a funny Geordie hunk of love, with baby blues and a cheeky smile that could charm his way out of – or into – any situation!” chuckles Larry, somewhat knowingly.