Certain vampire killers didn’t make it…
Now that the world is jam-packed with multi-options for absolutely everything, we’re all slightly bulimic. We binge drink, binge eat, binge smoke, binge binge, binge read, binge talk, binge go to the cinema, and binge shop. After the binging, we might go to the gym for fifteen minutes, which is a symbolic method of throwing everything up. One of our main binges now takes the form of boxsets, which we use to fill our eyes and minds full of television programmes that we couldn’t be bothered to watch when they were littered with bloody adverts and shown for just an hour a week. They’re brilliant, and few weekends will ever compare to the one we spent watching an entire series of The Wire. The world was a very strange place that week, as we discussed re-ups and co-ops with a very confused boss…
These are the four greatest television boxset women as decided by us…
1. Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Mad Men is a wonderful show about ad execs who smoke in their offices, get drunk at meetings, then cheat on their wives. This flame-haired goddess, meanwhile, prowls around the office tightening everyone’s trousers, berating secretaries for not being sexy enough, and explaining to the boss that they have run out of staples – only in the manner of the Cadbury’s Caramel Bunny describing her boobs. She keeps fellow Mad Men star, January Jones (Betty Draper), off the top four.
2. Polly Walker, Rome
A magnificent Cheshire lass, Polly is brilliant in Rome. Which, by the way, you must see. It’s a tale of intrigue, betrayal, bloody murder, and naked women. Polly plays the arch seductress Atia, who is kind of like a bitchy Alexis Colby character, only one that never appears to have any clothes on. A magnificent woman, she was also in State of Play – the excellent boxset, not the slightly rubbish film.
3. Vanessa Ferlito, CSI: NY
Tarantino fans will remember Vanessa from Death Proof – an underrated movie, in which she dances seductively for a creepy Kurt Russell. She also happens to be a veteran of numerous boxset classics, including 24, The Sopranos, and CSI: NY‘s sexy sister show CSI: Miami. Her intriguing looks come thanks to her Italian ancestors, and she’s a massive fan of PETA, which means that she hates anything made from glorious animal furs.
4. Elisha Cuthbert, 24
Elisha will forever be Kim Bauer to scores of 24 fans, who like her for her sassiness, her ball breaking, and her impressive body proportions, which presumably came from her character’s mother’s side. Unfortunately from around season four onwards, she only appeared for about five minutes every 24 hours, because while Dad was out shooting people up, she was blissfully fixing herself a nice salad, doing a spot of shopping, chatting on the phone, and watching the tennis. In real life, she comes from a country called Canadia.