Showbusiness: Bikini news, everyone’s showing off!

Published: 15th Jun, 2009

This woman’s been showing off…

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Because most of us aren’t celebrities, our winters are spent face down in mashed potatoes, doing anything we can to stave off the cold. Famous people, however, zip off to sunny places to begin working on their bikini bodies. They will then spend the following summer showing off their thin stomachs, their skin as tight as a snare drum, and their perky, attentive bosoms. The rest of us either lie on our fronts, or desperately suck it all in and waddle as fast as possible into the sea. It’s not fair. And just this weekend, the one from the Pussycat Dolls who goes out with Lewis Hamilton has been showing off her bikini body on a Hawaiian beach holiday. Like many bikini bodies, it involves a taut angry abdominal area, vivid buttocks, and a tiny little swimsuit, this year in fashionable Eva Longoria stripes – as opposed to Julia Roberts spots. One showbiz reporter in particular thinks she looks really good, but wonders where Lewis Hamilton is. Have they split up? Or was he having a lie down? These are the questions, friends. These are the questions.

Elsewhere, Cheryl Cole has been showing off her bikini body, which this year makes her look very thin, a bit like one of those gaunt heroin chic models that we used to find so disturbing and emaciated back in the good old days. Should this worrying trend continue, next year, this year’s bikini knickers will hang off her like y-fronts on a skeleton. Start eating, Cole. And, over in Hollywood, Megan Fox (below) decided that her bikini body could be spectacularly shown off under a sexy red dress. Hollywood insiders have been left in a stunned silence by her confusing mixture of demure sensuality and drunken sailor tatts. It’s as though Captain Birdseye ripped open his captain’s jacket to reveal a pair of absolutely gorgeous breasts. Kind of..

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Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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