Interestment’s Top Four: Numbers

Published: 28th May, 2009

Some all time classics just missed the cut…

13

It’s never anything less than a total joy to hear from a member of the ever-growing Interestment family, and today Richard – a young man with a big throbbing brain – has turned his attentions to numbers, and which ones might be the best. He had this to say…

Numbers are brilliant. And numerous. In fact, if you include decimal places and negative numbers, they’re practically infinite. As well as being a tasty lunch, a pie is also a very cool number. Age is nothing but a number, three is the magic number, but not magic enough to make this definitive list, which will probably be thought of as such until at least 2647 (which is not only a number, but also a whole year – two years if you include 2648!)

Anyway, here’s the correct run down for the order numbers should fall in:

1. Seven

7

Seven is definitely the best number. It’s so good it’s practically a letter – and there are only 26 of them so it’s a pretty exclusive club to nearly be in. Seven is crucial because it’s the brains behind so many other brilliant things – the days of the week, the deadly sins, the wonders of the world, the samurai, the dwarves, the S Club… Loads of stuff. Even religious people think it’s cool.

2. Ninety-Nine

99

A truly sexy number, 99 is basically a trendy, romantic version of 100. It’s the nearly man of the number spectrum, the brave loser, the underdog who comes from nowhere and dies in a blaze of glory at the final hurdle. It’s also the number that tricks stupid people into thinking they’re getting a good deal in Argos. Without Nena‘s seminal 99 Luftballons it’s unlikely we’d have seen the fall of the Berlin Wall. And don’t for a minute think that’s thanks to the luftballons part – luftballons is a colloquial German word that means minus 92. And we all know what 99 minus 92 is… Mathamazing!

99 is also the atomic number of Einsteinium, so it’s a clever number too.

3. One Million

one-million

Dress up as a prostitute and ask any horny sugar daddy with a yacht, an orange tan and open toed sandals to complete this sentence – “Hey darlin’ you look a….” they’d all say the same thing. “A million dollars”. They don’t say “a googolplex”, even though it’s technically a bigger number, because it’s not as good. One million is a fantastic number because it signifies two things most of us will never have –  beauty and wealth. It’s the definitive BIG number, able to strike fear into peasants all over the land, so it’s perhaps fitting that Fibonacci was born in Pisa.

4. One

one

A largely forgotten number, 1 is often skipped past by counting types who feel it a little basic for their needs. But it isn’t. Without 1, other numbers wouldn’t even exist (except 7 – that would obviously still exist). It is literally and metaphorically one in a million, its solitary beauty has mystified great people the world over… well, it mystified Bono anyway, who had this to say: “Did you come here to play Jesus?”

Oh, get stuffed Bono.

7 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Numbers

  1. Al says:

    58 has to be my fav of all time. It’s the number that justs pops off my tongue if ever exaggerating or having to think of a random number in the heat of the moment. Try it for yourself sometime… It has a lovely ring about it.

  2. handsomedaf says:

    Why wasn’t 1 number 1?

  3. arthur or martha says:

    I like 4. And 16, but that’s only because it is 4 lots of 4.
    4 lots of 4 fours is 64. Which is my fourth favourite number.

  4. A close pal says:

    Oh arthur you got me all excited that I might have finally found the man for me, but alas, you’re my sister.

  5. Traumatised says:

    73 is my favourite number. When I was younger I had a t-shirt with 073 written on it. Good times. I wore it to a work Christmas party, and won a giant ginger teddy in the raffle. I named the teddy ‘Number 73’. Flash forward a few years, and I was watching ‘The most controversial moments in music tv history’ or somesuch, on channel 4. One of the moments was from the 80’s kids TV show ‘Number 73’ – so called because of the house it was based at. I don’t remember this show at all. Anyway, while a band was playing on the show, Iggy Pop, another guest, bounded onto stage with, you guessed it, a giant ginger teddy, and proceeded to simulate buggery on it behind the guitarist. Coincidence? Or something far more sinister? Ever since then I’ve noticed the number 73 A LOT when going about my everyday life. It’s literally everywhere

  6. oliver says:

    here in China everyone’s COMPLETELY OBSESSED with the number 8, which is considered lucky as the Chinese word for “8” sounds like the Chinese word for “bare cash”. If you go to a dim sum restaurant and order seven dishes, they’ll look at you like you’re a twat because you could have just as easily ordered one more and had *eight* dishes.

  7. handsomedaf says:

    Yeah, 8 is actually the best because it looks like two holes.

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