Showbusiness: Apprentice wedding, and LEGGINGS!

Published: 12th May, 2009

Couple to breed a super-race?

apprentice-showbiz

Breeding is a fascinating process, where the hope is that the end product (ie. baby) will have taken the good traits from each parent. Hideous mistakes have threatened to happen in the past, like the time everyone thought that Julia Roberts might have a child with a Country and Western Lyle Lovett rat face and her prickly personality. And the debate about euthenasia was once again brought up in whispering circles when it was rumoured that Ashley Cole had done it unprotected with his mirror-image around the back of Chinawhites. As it turns out, that was just a bad dream. Now, the latest couple daring to throw together some x and y chromosomes are Phil and Kate from The Apprentice. You know, Phil and Kate. He’s the one with the really deep voice who got sacked, and she’s the pretty one who might win, even though she talks from the side of her mouth like the woman in those hilarious having a stroke adverts. Talking to a showbusiness magazine, Phil said something along the lines of, “I’m a winner, I always get what I want, I’m the best, I will marry her, Sir Alan, I will definitely marry her… just make me project manager, I’ll show you that I can… LET ME SPEAK, YOU WILL GET YOUR TURN… I just want to prove that I will marry her… I’m a great salesperson, I will marry her, I love her… she’s good looking, I will marry her…” Et cetera.

In other thrilling news, the good morning everyone television presenter and horrible ballroom dancer, Kate Garraway, stunned the entire nation by leaving the house wearing a pair of leggings, even though she’s completely pregnant. We couldn’t get those pictures, so we got another one…

garraway-showbiz

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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