Make your own pea soup!

Published: 11th May, 2009

Both green and delicious


The problem now is that with the warm fronts moving in from the West, and the blazing hot Sun shining down from the North, society has decreed that we don’t need big jumpers and large trousers if we’re heading outdoors. Bugger. Now it’s all itsy-bitsy vest tops and shorts so tight that everyone can witness the precise contours of your groin. If you’re one of those people who actually enjoy exercise, you might have the body for it. For the rest of us, it’s like waking up in the middle of a bad dream. One where everyone is laughing at you because your swollen guts make you look a bit like a pregnant woman. But you’re not a pregnant woman. Hence, it’s time to stop thrusting your face into piles of meat every night, and time to start embracing other things like vegetables, fruits, and delicious drinks – otherwise known as soup – instead.

Today, we thought we’d teach you fat guys how to make a healthy soup. In this case, pea.

You will need:

1. A great big onion.

2. A mighty leak.

3. Half a bag of frozen peas.

4. Some tasty fresh mint.

5. A stock cube. Chicken is the best.

6. Salt and pepsie.

7. Boiling water.

Now chop up your leak and onion, then fry them in a medium sized pan for about ten minutes, until they’re all nice and soft. Throw in the peas for a couple of minutes, then add a load of boiling water, your stock cube, and simmer for fifteen minutes. Add some fresh mint, salt and pepsie, then blend it all together in a stolen/borrowed/bought blender, and bosh. Pea soup, guv.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

One Response to Make your own pea soup!

  1. Avatar MC Solar says:

    Man like Josh just rustled this lil beauty up and tasting it caused an instant explosion of joy in my gobhole.
    You NEED this in your life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *