Showbusiness: Polka Dot news, and Bisexuals

Published: 7th May, 2009

Not just any old dots…

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Anyone with two functioning eyes and a heart has probably been lamenting the demise of Polka Dots for the last few years. They used to be so popular with tearful housewives and young ravers. In fact, the macho street painter Seurat famously loved them so much that he’d use miniscule ones to create amazing images of people horsing around in parks (below). They were once voted the nation’s most beloved dot.

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And now THEY’RE BACK, and they’ve become really popular with famous people. Just this week, Posh Spice was caught mounting a nice aeroplane wearing a great big spotty mackintosh. Each dot tirelessly crafted from the finest fashion hands money can afford. Then Julia Roberts – yes, Julia Roberts, the actress – took to a Hawaiian beach in a dotty bikini, showing off what has been described as her “beach body”. Not to be confused with her “indoors body”, which is all flabby and grotesque. Anyone who has seen these pictures will have noticed that she has a tattoo at the base of her spine reading “Henry, Hazel, Phinneaus” – her moving homage to The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.

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In other Victoria Beckham (above) news, she is now the sensual half-naked body of an Armani campaign. Cynics are convinced that someone may have broken into the Armani HQ armed with an  airbrush and really gone to town on her. Who could do such a thing? Some kind of body beautiful, airbrush sicko?

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Plus Sarah Jessica Parker (above) has hired a surrogate bisexual rocker to carry her twins. As anyone with bisexual children already knows, she has nothing to worry about. It skips a generation.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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