Vaughan Mason, Roller Skate
Wow, Tony Blair. Who’d honestly want to be Tony Blair? Forever remembered as the man who George W Bush called Yo Blair, he never really had what it takes, bless him. He’d have made a very good male nurse, or a groin flannel, or a useful teaching assistant, but Prime Minister? Noooo. Still, to hellfire with hindsight, he’s 55 today, we thought we should get the great big twerp a gift. We took to the commons (Clapham and Streatham) and debated furiously, with one half insisting that he should be given a massive wedgie until his pants go all the way over his head, whilst the other half thought a clip of some roller skaters might be nice instead. In the end we got him both. Yo, Happy Birthday Blair!