Urgent fashion news about ripped jeans!

Published: 1st May, 2009

Darling, can I borrow your flick knife?

ripped-jeans

We bloody love fashion people, with their strange haircuts, and their pink tights worn with completely straight faces. Unfortunately, keeping up with their curious flights of fancy is near impossible, so thank Christ for our Interestment fashion expert, Oliver, who today tells us a little bit about the jackets and trousers that we should be sporting this spring/summer/autumn/winter. He had this to say…

Fashionistas can now stop cutting themselves with rusty stanley knives and re-focus their self loathing onto the nearest pair of denim trousers – or jeans as they’re known in America. Yes, ripped jeans are back, so expect to hear loud tuts coming from befuddled old women as they catch sight of these strange youths with their torn up trousers and silly rap music. A number of gentlemanly testicles flopping from seriously misjudged rips will be reported over the summer. I guarantee it.

In other news, the proliferation of the original pointy shoulder Balmain jackets (below) has caught my attention. This is great for people looking for somewhere to hang their towels, but means sod all to anyone else. In my humble opinion, this will be about as short-lived and costly as a German tennis sex encounter. So avoid this ridiculousness, else spend the rest of your lives weeping into a pool of your own size zero bulimia vomit.

balmain-jacket

Until next time…

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

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