What happened, woman?
Remember 2001? What a year that was. The whole Twin Towers thing happened, Cliff Richard had his first number one, Lady Diana died, Gandhi was shot down in the streets, the A Team was axed, Rupert the Bear was plundering through Soho crack dens, and Easter was very nearly ruined by the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. It was one heck of a year, from what we can recall. And everyone needed a break from the drama. That break came along in the sultry form of Estella Warren, the shining light in the appalling remake of Planet of The Apes, starring a whispering Mark Wahlberg in the gruff Charlton Heston role. Awful, awful, awful. Except for her. A former synchronised swimmer, she had the kind of lean athletic body that pipe smoking women have penned tearful poetry about, and her pouting lips were at least three times larger than the average. This girl, we told ourselves, is here to stay. She’s the new Kathleen Turner. And then, in a puff of smoke, she vanished and no one has seen her since. Except, that is, people who bother to watch TV shows like Law & Order or That 70s Show.
Of course, there will be no female flesh for the boys, without a little bit of sugar for the girls. Below is Tom Selleck.