For those not up on Dallas, Pam Ewing was Cliff Barnes’ sister. Cliff was at loggerheads with JR, but Pam was in love with Bobby – JR’s brother – and the pair got married, then had frenzied unprotected sex, and she became pregnant with an embryo. Unfortunately she soon fell from a loft in a big Texan barn and lost the baby, thanks to the greasy hands of JR Ewing. Accidentally-on-purpose, of course. Plus, in a classic twist, she once dreamt an entire series, before waking to find her dead husband casually flanneling his groin in the shower. She was a big part of the show. Played to perfection by the wonderful and beautiful actress, Victoria Principal. What a magnificent gal she was, with a waste the size of a Cheese and Onion Hula Hoop and bosoms as big and healthy as pink grapefruits. We know all of this because she once thought it worth taking her clothes off for Playboy in 1973. Good on her.
As ever, we wouldn’t dream of feeding the hungry eyes of gentlemen without preparing a similar feast for the womenfolk. Below is Tom Selleck.